Twelve.

How Far Along: 12 weeks

Total Weight Gain: Even though I continue to eat 24 hours a day (literally), I'm holding steady at 3 pounds.  I am anxiously and nervously preparing myself for a more steady weight gain.  It's hard to grasp the concept of "welcome" weight gain, but I'm getting there.

Maternity Clothes: Still rocking the belly bands, but no other maternity clothes.  I finally found a tankini that has cup size support.  THANK YOU JESUS.  It was pretty expensive, but I do think worth it since these knockers are slowly getting out of control.  I desperately want to buy some cute maternity dresses but I am a) scared of Jake's backlash due to my previous (and maybe current) shopaholic tendencies b) worried they will just look ridiculous on me at this point.

Sleep: Not quite as tired, but still not back to my normal self.  I'm hoping the next few weeks bring a new found energy that will last through the 2nd trimester.  Fingers crossed!

Best Moment(s) this week: We had a fairly uneventful week.  We enjoyed hanging out with friends from church on Friday night, and spent Saturday afternoon and night with my parents.  I am loving lounging by the pool and not feeling bad about it!

Gender: We have decided we are definitely finding out whether this monkey is a boy or a girl.  I am too planny planny and impatient to let it go the full 9 months.  I'm actually surprised it took me this long to say I'm definitely finding out.  8 weeks until we find out.  I am already anxious!

Movement: Monkey is the size of a plum this week.  My fake fruit plums sitting in the bowl on my dining room table look smaller than what I picture a lime to look like, but we're going with it because that's what my iPhone apps say!

Food Cravings: I actually really wish I had some weird cravings, but I don't.  We've been eating a lot of cookies and ice cream, which could serve to be dangerous for those of us that live with me who aren't knocked up (*ahem* Jake).

Symptoms: I was fairly symptom free this week, wahoo!  My jugs still hurt, but not as bad.  I think I'm kind of just getting used to it at this point.  One thing I do miss about this particular symptom is being able to lay on my stomach at the pool.  It just squishes my knockers and hurts way too bad.  My back is going to be white white white all summer.  It would be nice to head to the beach and dig holes out of the sand for my front amenities.  Oh well!

What I Miss: See previous - laying on my stomach at the pool.  Oh yeah, and as if it has changed - beer and wine - duh.

What I am Looking Forward to: Celebrating JM and AL's engagement with some good friends this weekend!  Also the Donelan family 4th of July party is on Saturday.  This is shaping up to be a fun weekend, even sans booze.

Noteworthy Items:

-I finished Fifty Shades of Grey and have moved on to Fifty Shades Darker.  These books have single handedly saved my pregnant libido.  Thank you, E.L. James.

- Callie is doing SO GREAT being out of her crate.  I am over the moon that I only had to clean up her "I'm mad at you pee" one time last week, and it was the first day.  My little baby booger is growing up :)

-I fully intend to wear my high heels until December.  Anyone who wants to get in on the supposed office pool where they are betting on this - I'd recommend choosing sometime around then.  I'd also like to know what happens when I wear heels on my birthday and Jake's birthday...even if it's just for a few hours?  Heck, maybe I'll rock them in the delivery room if my feet don't swell too much.

-One more week until I'm out of the first trimester.  Per the doctor's orders, I have not had my hair colored since March since I was supposed to wait until after the first trimester.  I made a hair appointment for next Tuesday - these white trash roots cannot be gone soon enough.  This is me jumping for joy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Per my previous comment about eating 24 hours a day - I thought it would be funny to write down what I've eaten today, right before I'm about to go eat dinner at VBS (which I'm sure won't fill me up and I'll eat more when I get home around 9).
Breakfast: Subway breakfast sandwich (6 inch, please)
Snack: Banana, granola bar, Babybel cheese, cashews, mini crunch bar (at this point I was still starving and actually texted MS to tell her about it, but had to go to my workout class so I didn't want to eat again)
Lunch: PB&J on wheat, carrots with ranch dip
Snack: Hummus & pita chips, another mini crunch bar, strawberry yogurt

-Last but not least, I went to see Doc today and got a clean bill of health.  I had to have blood drawn again but I think this is pretty normal - just wanting to check my iron levels since I'm so daggone tired.  The absolute coolest part was getting to hear Monkey's heartbeat on the doppler in the office.  He found it almost instantaneously which was a good way to ease any nerves.  I was super sad Jake was not there with me to hear it, but thanks to DA at work and her "hand me down but please don't sell it" fetal doppler, we are going to listen to it tonight together.  I've been scared to use it not knowing if I'd be able to find anything, but now that I know that it's there, it's strong, and it's easy to find, it should be a piece of cake :)  Thanks, DA!

Eleven.

How Far Along: 11 weeks

Total Weight Gain: Still hanging in there at 3 pounds.  I'm trying to keep it there for the next two weeks so I can escape the first trimester with only a 3 pound gain.  This belly is definitely starting to grow though.  See: belly pics.  Wow!

Maternity Clothes: I ordered some belly bands from Amazon - a black one and a white one.  Can I just say: LIFESAVER.  I can walk around and sit at work all day with my pants undone, but nobody can tell and they hold my pants up and kinda sorta suck my little gut in.  I was not happy that they were $15/piece for glorified tube tops, but I now believe they were worth every penny.  Here's hoping I can wear my normal pants for another month or two.

Sleep: This is getting a little better, but I am still really tired.  I don't feel like I need a nap every day, but Friday afternoons are pretty much the death of me.  I could fall asleep after work and go until Saturday morning!

Best Moment(s) this week:
-I have a single moment that is tied for best and worst moment of the week.  We had our softball banquet on Tuesday of last week.  I put together a slideshow of pictures from the season and at the end I put our sonogram picture with a caption that said "Future Miss Highlands Softball?"  The immediate reaction from the table of girls was priceless, I wish I could have captured it on film.  They were all so excited!  The reason it was the worst moment though, were the sad looks on their faces when they realized that our announcement of resignation was next.  It was a huge rush of all kinds of emotions.  We were glad they were sad to see us go (that means they actually did like us!), but we were also really sad to put this chapter of our lives behind us. 
-As lame as it sounds, posting our news on facebook was super exciting.  The sheer number of people who liked and commented on mine and Jake's status was really fun.  It was like a good birthday times ten.

Gender: The latest wives tale is that since I'm not sick, it's a boy.  I am still yet to hear someone tell me I'm having a girl!  Does this mean I'm doomed to live with all boys the rest of my life?  Thank God for Callie girl!

Movement: Monkey Butt is the size of a lime this week.  I actually don't feel my uterus growing anymore, so that's a plus!

Food Cravings: I don't think this is a pregnancy craving, but it was a craving.  We walked by the Entenmann's crumb coffee cake in Kroger on Saturday night, and I had to have it!  I hadn't had it in so long and it looked delicious.  $6.19 later, it was sitting on my kitchen counter waiting to be devoured.  It's Tuesday and it's almost gone.  Oops.

Symptoms: My large ta-tas are starting to hurt less (PRAISE THE LORD)!  I haven't used Imodium in at least a week (PRAISE THE LORD)!  I am still tired though.  2nd trimester can't get here soon enough.

What I Miss: This is not going to change for 6 more months and I'm sure of it - beer & wine.  I would love nothing more than to sit on my patio and drink a Summer Shandy on draft out of the kegerator in my garage.  Next summer Jake is going to owe me my favorite beer in that kegerator, so he better be prepared.

What I am Looking Forward to: A relaxing weekend at home with my main squeeze.

Noteworthy Items:
-We celebrated Father's Day on Sunday with my family because Jake's dad is in Myrtle Beach.  Jake got quite a few "Happy Father's Day" texts and cards, but he neglected to recognize the baby in my belly on Mother's Day, so he got diddly squat from his lovely wife on Sunday.  Sorry babe, still waiting for that Louis Vuitton ;)
-Also on Sunday we began to rearrange our bedrooms upstairs.  I really feel like we need a bigger house, and we haven't even bought a single baby item yet!  We moved the guest bed into the office, so it's now crammed with bed/desk/nightstand/bookshelf.  

-Callie's crate got the boot to the basement because there was simply no room.  This week we are doing a trial run of leaving her out during the day.  Crossing of the fingers that I don't have to clean up too much dog piss this week would be greatly appreciated!
-Since we announced it on facebook and it's officially public, we are getting congratulations left and right from people.  I think it's pretty funny when you really think about what people are congratulating you for...yes, I went there.
-Speaking of going there, I started reading Fifty Shades of Grey on Sunday.  Oh. Em. Gee.  Good book for a pregnant lady who doesn't want her husband within 10 feet of her, that's for sure!
-I need a beach and a tan.  A free vacation would be stellar right now.  Who wants to take me somewhere?
-We've been watching the Reds a lot lately, they are kicking ass and taking names.  I was thinking: How sweet would it be if Monkey comes while the Cats are reigning National Champs and the Reds are reigning World Series Champs?  One down, one to go!  Here's hoping!

Ten.

How Far Along: 10 weeks
Total Weight Gain: I think I might have lied last week, my weight fluctuates so much I don't really know.  But since my first weigh in on May 9th I've gained 3 pounds.  I would like to make a disclaimer: I know this is supposed to be a "beautiful thing", but as someone who recently lost 30 pounds, the thought of putting all of that back on (whether for a good reason or not), is completely and utterly frightening beyond belief.  I'm super worried about not being able to take all the weight off after Monkey comes and I know it's going to be a lot of hard work.  I'm hoping my old clothes, my flabby after baby belly, and the half marathon will be good motivation to stick to a good diet and work out really hard. 
Maternity Clothes: I need some.  Stat.  I think Wednesday of last week was the first day I really noticed my pants digging into this nice little gut I am growing.  I unbottoned my pants at my desk all day and it was AMAHZE.  Time to have my seeester take me to Gap Maternity.
Sleep: I still want to sleep all day, every day.  I'm hoping this changes soon.  I'm starting to feel like a waste of space.
Best Moment(s) this week: Our ultrasound for sure.  I posted about it under the sonogram pictures.  But just to reiterate - seeing Monkey's heart going crazy on the screen was pretty awesome, and made this all VERY real.  I also told my boss, which I was extremely nervous about, but as expected he was really cool.  I'm glad to have that over with.
Gender: No update.  We are hoping for "healthy".  No new predictions from anyone this week!
Movement: Monkey Butt is either the size of a prune or a lime, depending on what website I read or app I use.  Regardless, I don't feel any movement except for my uterus growing, which continues to suck.
Food Cravings: I don't know that I'm ever going to have any weird cravings other than "give me food now".  Last night after a special bathroom visit around 2am, I was so hungry I had to go down to the kitchen to eat crackers.  I still feel like my inner fat kid is rejoicing when I'm eating all the time.  Contrary to what I said before, I hope that guilt goes away soon.  Sometimes I just need to eat.
Symptoms: My new most special symptom is one that can be cured with Imodium AD.  That's all I'm going to say.  It's horrible, it sucks, and I'm not sure if it's really any better than vomitting.  The best part?  It only happens when we need to go somewhere, like a bridal shower, or a Reds game.  Thanks for that.  I'm still a little bi-polar too, but that seems to be getting better.
What I Miss: Beer, wine, beer.  Being able to stay awake all day without needing a nap.  My *ahem* sex drive (sorry Mom!).  Oh, and did I say beer?
What I am Looking Forward to: Finally letting the word get out.  Some of our family members have been spreading the word without telling us they are spreading the word, so I will be glad to stop feeling awkward when people say "congrats" to me when I didn't know that they knew.  We are telling our softball team at our banquet on Tuesday, and while I'm a little anxious and nervous to tell them, I'll be glad that they finally know.
Noteworthy Items:
-One of the worst things about telling people you are pregnant is the impending hug.  Don't you people know my boobs feel like they were used as a punching bag?  Squeezing my upper body is not exactly exhilerating for me right now.
-Speaking of boobs: if mine don't stop growing, I might break some kind of world record.
-Going to a wedding sober ROYALLY SUCKS.
-I'm a little sad that I've told almost everyone that's really close to me and Jake.  Seeing people's reactions was really fun, and I think that's just about over...
-Watching Aladdin on a Saturday night is my new idea of fun.  Can you say lame?

Nine.

How Far Along: 9 weeks
Total Weight Gain: None so far - and thank goodness!
Maternity Clothes: None.
**sidenote: I did shop with my mom today and bought a few tunics and some larger pants that I think will last me for another month or two.  I'm a little nervous about the unknown when it comes to shopping.  It's no secret that I'm a complete and total shopaholic (thanks, Mom).  This whole body transformation is really freaking me out.  I hope I can contain the urge to buy every cute maternity top I see!
Sleep: All I want to do is sleep.  All day.  Every day.
Best Moment(s) this week:  Seeing my college friends and telling them the big news.  I really could not ask for a better group of friends and I feel so incredibly blessed that they will be a part of this baby's life.  They are going to make such wonderful aunts/uncles/rolemodels for our little Monkey!
Gender: The Chinese gender chart says boy.  AW says boy.  MS says boy.  KH is hoping for a girl.
Movement: Monkey Butt is only the size of an olive - no movement yet!
Food Cravings:  I see food.  I eat food.
Symptoms:  Since this is my first real "pregnancy post", I'm going to go ahead and recap all of the symptoms I've had so far.
*Sore boobs - Oh. My. God.  They were huge to begin with.  They are bigger now.  They might never stop growing.  And they feel like someone used them as a punching bag.  Just shoot me now.
*Cramps - Wtf.  I thought this was a period symptom?  I'm trying to ease the pain by saying my uterus is growing every time they rear their ugly head.  So far this hasn't made them hurt any less, but I'll keep trying.
*Bi-polar disorder - Yeah.  Can you say crazy?  One day I come home crying because I feel like my life is over (we are talking major mascara run, can't chew my food because I can't stop crying), and the next day I can't wait to meet this little monkey.  I feel like I've lost my mind!  I am so lucky though, Jake has been fantastic.  He has been so patient and wonderful and understanding of the crazy.  Best. Husband. Ever.
*Hunger - I am so lucky I haven't been sick.  But I do start to feel the nausea coming on when I haven't eaten anything.  Hence, the never-ending supply of food to my mouth.  Yikes.
What I Miss: Is it even a shock that I'm going to say beer and wine?  Come on...it's so not fair.  Especially when Summer Shandy just hit the shelves!
What I am Looking Forward to:  Jake and I are going for an ultrasound on Tuesday.  It will be my first one, and I'm really anxious about them finding a heartbeat!  I can't wait to hear Monkey Butt's little heart racing :)

Start Spreading the News

I really want to document the way we have told our close friends and family that we are going to be parents.  I like to think that Jake and I are both pretty funny people, and I think we have gotten people pretty good with this news. We still have some people to tell, but a lot of these stories are good enough to share.

My parents:  Jake and I went to their house for dinner after a softball game.  We began talking about the Flying Pig Marathon and I told my mom that after witnessing it as a spectator this year, I fully intend to run the half marathon next year.  She proceeded to say "well you'll probably be pregnant then."  I said "no I don't think I'll be pregnant."  Because of my consistent attitude of wanting to wait until what seemed like the age of 40 to have kids, she rolled her eyes at me.  A few minutes later I said "Mom, you want to know why I won't be pregnant during the marathon next year?  Because I'm pregnant now."  My mom, my sister, and my dad all had the same reaction most everyone has had so far: disbelief.  Once they finally realized that I wasn't playing a cruel joke, the tears flowed and happiness ensued.

MS:  This was pretty straightforward.  I kind of just dropped the bomb.  We were walking back from a morning Subway trip when I looked at her and said "so, I'm pregnant."  She smacked me on the arm, cried, hugged me, and we went back to work with messed up mascara and chatted about it on messenger the whole day.  It was perfect, and SO us.

ED:  Jake wanted to incorporate the SGDB somehow since we had asked her to go get ice cream with us.  When we got to her house he said "I don't think I'm going to get anything, maybe just a baby cone or something.  You know, because I like babies."  She had started to walk away, but turned around (again in disbelief) and said "wait, that's not cool.  Babies?  Are you serious?  You can't say stuff like that when you're your age and married with no kids."  We all just kind of laughed and smiled until she finally believed us.  It was cute, and perfect for her.

K&W:  We planned to go out to eat with them on a Saturday night.  W came to sit down next to me on the couch and Jake told her not to since she would have picked up a sweater full of Callie hair if she sat down. W said "I didn't want to sit next to you anyway, I wanted to sit next to Jess."  Jake said "why, because she's pregnant?"  W threw down her keys and said "NO YOU'RE NOT!"  We both laughed and nodded our heads.  K was sitting on the other side of the couch like "no way!"  You would think after 5 years of marriage that this wouldn't be a surprise or seem like a joke to anyone, but apparently it is and does!

EE (minus 2):  Jake and I were in Lex for a wedding shower.  I had found a great idea on a website: line up for a picture and have the person taking the picture say "On the count of three, everybody say Jessica's pregnant" and then capture everyone's reaction while they process what the photographer just said.  My friends and I lined up for the picture and Jake said it, but only AW repeated it.  I started laughing.  Jake said "no really, say Jessica's pregnant."  All of my friends leaned to the middle and said "WHAT?  REALLY?"  I didn't think Jake got a very good picture, but with the exception of my face, the looks on my friends' faces are pretty priceless (see below).  This was one of my favorite ones, and we spent the whole weekend excited about Monkey Butt and his or her aunts and uncles in waiting.

Jake held a conch shell to his ear and acted like he heard a baby to tell my Grandma.  While we were discussing his sister's unfortunate recent experience with the nasty head bugs, he told his dad and stepmom that he hoped our kids didn't get lice.  When he tried to drop a subtle hint to his brother about needing a babysitter in 10 months, his brother didn't register it at all, which made it pretty funny for everyone else in the room.

This isn't everyone we've told, but they are some of my favorite reactions so far.  The people who were in complete shock really stuck with me the most and are the ones I know I'll remember.  What's really funny is the nervous feeling I get right before I'm going to tell someone - as if they aren't going to be ecstatic that Jake and I are bringing a new life into the world.  The more people we tell, the more excited I get.  This could continue to be really fun for a while...