I have had such a hard time coming up with just one single topic
that I could make a worthwhile post about. There are just so many things
every day in this new-momma world that I have a comment about. I have
decided to just write some random tidbits of information that I hope I will
look back on one day and find entertaining.
-I believe the unsolicited opinions about parenting are worse than
the unsolicited opinions about pregnancy. While there are obviously
conversations about parenting that I have found extremely valuable,
entertaining, and sometimes quite hilarious, there are some that really just
never needed to happen. So unless I'm friends with you or related to you
or struck up the conversation with you on my own accord, keep your opinions
about lactation to yourself.
-Everybody says the "4th trimester", or the first 3 months of a baby's life are the hardest. I disagree. I felt so overwhelmed with love and joy and new amazing emotions during that time that I found it hard to complain about how tired I was or how bad my nips hurt (and they hurt BAD). Sam slept all day and woke up every couple of hours at night, but I didn't have to work so I didn't care that I was sleep deprived. Months 4 and 5 were way harder for me. I had just gotten into a routine with her and then I went back to work and everything went all bazerk and I felt like I didn't know what I was doing anymore. Thankfully now we have entered the "I think Mommy and Daddy are hilarious, and I think I'm even funnier" stage, so I'm back to really enjoying life again.
-Waking up in the middle of the night to feed or console your
sweet baby totally SUCKS. But what sucks worse is letting them cry it out
to try to "train" them to sleep through the night. On the other
hand though, if I would have known it was only going to take 2 nights of crying
to get my kid to stop screaming at 3am, I would have let her cry a month ago.
I am now a full on proponent of the Ferber method.
-Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything else to talk about
besides what new noise Sam started making this week or how she blew out her
diaper and shit (yes, literal shit) ended up in her armpits and it took me half
a package of wipes followed by a bath to clean her ass up. So I am taking
this opportunity to apologize to my childless friends for making you listen to me drone
on about Sam's sleep habits, cat noises, and how she discovered her toes last
week.
-I love Sam's Honest diapers. Like, I love them. I
don't care that they are a little more expensive than your run of the mill Huggies
or Target brand diapers. They don't smell like chemicals, she never gets
diaper rash, the prints are extra cute, and I don't have to leave my house to
get them because they are delivered to my door when I say I want them delivered to my door. Furthermore, their other
baby products are the only thing that I have been able to bathe Sam in without
her pitiful little sensitive skin breaking out. So with that said,
everyone who gave me a hard time about putting her in expensive organic diapers
can go fly a kite. Also - I highly recommending any new moms check out their website - honest.com.
-Is there anything funnier than baby farts and burps? Sam's
sound like adult sized burps and farts coming out of a 16 pound human.
Hysterical.
-I have one of those metabolisms where if I eat what I'm supposed
to eat (within reason) and workout on a regular basis, my weight stays in check
pretty well. That being said, I have been very fortunate to have lost all
of my baby weight already. I highly recommend breastfeeding, weight
watchers, and training for a 5k or a 10k. On the flipside, I hate my
boobs - or rather the boulders that have taken the place of regular boobs on my
chest. The amount of cellulite on my thighs accounts for 30% of my body
weight. And my belly is still kind of squishy. We all have our issues, and those are mine. Meh.
-Going back to work was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to
do in my life. I will preface this with "to each their own",
but I honestly do not understand how anyone could possibly choose to go back to work
3 months or less after having a baby. If I had the financial freedom to
stay home with Sam, I would do it in a heartbeat. I thank God every day
now for having the freedom to have reduced my hours at my job so I have a
little more time at home with Miss Sam every week.
-Your own baby's laugh and smile are the sweetest thing in the
world. I am currently convinced there will never be anything sweeter for any parent
than the first time their child smiles or laughs at them. It completely
and fully melts your whole heart into a little puddle on the floor. It's
no wonder kids these days end up as spoiled little brats, they probably just
smile at their parents and mom or dad says "okay you're adorable, do
whatever you want." SIKE - that is not happening in this house. Ever.
-Becoming a parent has changed me forever. Tragedies
involving children hit me a little deeper than they did before, Hallmark
commercials instantly make me cry, and I know without a doubt in my mind now
that there is another person on this planet that I would take a bullet for.
The lack of sleep and boulder sized knockers are worth it when Sam
snuggles her little nose and eyeballs into my shoulder. Now if only I could make
time stop for a while, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for a toddler ;-)
