Twenty.

Oooohhhhhhhh....we're halfway theeeerrre....oooohh-oohhh we're livin on a prayer!
Yes, I'm a nerd and I love Bon Jovi, get over it.

How Far Along: 20 weeks

Total Weight Gain: 11.8 pounds.  That half a pound I lost last week got tacked on to my one pound gain for this week.  My freak out moments from gaining weight the first month or two have pretty much subsided.  I guess I'm just getting used to the steadily climbing scale.  Although, when I think about the fact that at this point I already have 23 pounds to lose to get down to my ideal weight, I feel a little overwhelmed with the thought of my diet next year while trying to care for a baby and get back to working full time.

Maternity Clothes: Most of the maternity clothes I ordered online last week have turned out to be a super success.  The stuff I ordered from asos.com was an epic fail.  I think I'm done shopping there unless I get extremely desperate.  One day when I'm not being lazy and I can convince Jake to get the camera out, maybe I will take some fashion show pictures and post them on here.  With the exception of some sweaters, maybe a few casual shirts and another pair of work pants, I think I'm done with my wardrobe.  That is unless I live out my nightmare and gain 75 pounds.  Please don't let that happen to me, please don't let that happen to me, please don't let that happen to me...

Sleep: Same old, same old.  I can't sleep because my back hurts when I lay on my side.  I can't lay on my back because I'll stop the blood flow to my heart (I still believe this is false), and I can't lay on my stomach because my belly is growing.  I guess I will just be a grouch for the next 20 weeks!

Gender: SHE's a beautiful baby girl!!  And her name is Samantha Lynn Donelan.  (Samantha because we like it and Lynn after Pegetha Lynn Evans, my momma - we don't want any more Margarets wondering around Fort Thomas, right Mom??)

Best Moment this Week: See above, um hello!  We packaged up softballs with Samantha Lynn Donelan written on them and put them in little gift baggies with blue and pink tissue paper coming out and gave one to each of our parents.  That was our "gender reveal".  I don't know how these people go to the doctor and then wait to have a gender reveal party to tell everyone.  It was hard enough for me to wait for people to get off of work!

Movement: Monkey is the size of a small cantaloupe or a banana.  I have decided the proverbial "they" have mental issues.  A banana is smaller than a sweet potato - that produce was from like two weeks ago - what the heck!  As far as movement goes, I think I may have felt some flutters this week, but I must say it's definitely hard to be sure that it's not a muscle twitch or gas bubbles in my stomach.

Food Cravings: I finally got my sushi on Saturday and it was fantastic!  I am still trying really hard to keep my binging in check, and I think I'm doing an okay job.  It would help if going to the grocery store wasn't my least favorite chore in the history of chores, then I might actually have some healthy food in my house to eat.  I need a housekeeper that will do my laundry, cleaning, and grocery shopping.  These are the days where I truly believe being Kim Kardashian would not be the worst thing ever.

Symptoms: I really think my boobs have reached the point of being so big that it's not possible they could grow anymore.  I read a lady's blog that says when the baby is born and your milk comes in that your boobs will look "cartoonish".  This leads me to beg the question: what if they already do???  I am at the point where I can't stand to be without a bra because I feel like a 90 year old woman with my boobs hanging down to my knees.  I swear 11 of the 11.8 pounds that I've gained is right here in these ta-tas.  Lord help me, if they don't deflate after Monkey gets here, I will do anything in my power to save enough money to get a breast reduction.  On top of dealing with these obnoxiously huge jugs, my back is killing me (probably from the weight of my boobs) and I am getting more frequent headaches.  I am also sneezing more than I ever have in my life, I would estimate about 30-40 times a day, no joke.  One day last week I was using mouthwash and I had to sneeze before I could spit it out so I sprayed it all over my bathroom sink and counter.  Super.

What I Miss: Wearing my old bras that don't have hilarious sizes on the tags (yes, I went there).  Sitting at my desk until the end of the day without my back killing me.  Being able to have a few glasses of wine when I get home on Friday after a hellish week.  Sleeping through the night, just once in a blue moon.  Being able to go a week without filing my nails.  Not having a new zit on my face every other day.  Being able to eat a normal sized meal without feeling like a bloated fatass for 2 hours.  Is there anything else I can complain about???

What I am Looking Forward to: Getting my hair cut and colored this week.  Being able to finally start picking stuff out for this baby since we know it is a GIRL!

Noteworthy Items:

-A lot of people keep asking me "how do you feel" and "do you love being pregnant".  No, as a matter of fact I don't.  Sometimes I feel bad that all I do is whine and complain, especially because I know there are so many women out there who either a) would give anything to get pregnant or b) have spent their life savings to get pregnant.  Until today at the doctor, I have yet to find anything up to this point that I really enjoy about this experience (save for the fact that I'm going to get an adorable, screaming, pooping, spitting up, doesn't-sleep-through-the-night-for-a-really-long-time child out of the deal).  They say that there are some bodily benefits to being pregnant, but I have not run into any yet. 
The pregnancy glow?  If you count a new zit on my face every day and the pale skin I'm rocking due to lack of desire to ever wear a bathing suit while pregnant.
Fast growing fingernails?  I'm not sure when this became a plus, I hate filing my nails so frequently and if I paint them they look grown out after 3 days and I have to redo them #princessproblems
Thicker hair?  I'm pretty sure I still need 75 products every morning to make my hair not look like a 12 year old's stringy hot mess mane.
Bigger boobs?  HOW ABOUT: NO THANK YOU THEY WERE BIG ENOUGH TO BEGIN WITH.
I am convinced God spared me the morning sickness because he knew if I had to deal with it the first time I would never ever ever in my whole life sign up for this again.

-We picked up our crib on Saturday and KM came over to help Jake put it together.  I have heard horror stories about putting cribs together but this was definitely not a difficult task.  Carrying it up the stairs was by far the hardest part.  We also still have the mattress my mom used for all of us, I can't decide if this is gross since it's old or awesome since it's free.  I'll make up my mind later when I have to...

-We also painted the old dresser this weekend to match the crib.  I found several tutorials on pinterest and kind of went with a mixture of what I had read.  We lightly sanded, primed with two coats of oil based primer, painted two coats of white, and sprayed a finishing laquer on top.  It doesn't look like the most beautiful dresser you've ever seen (I don't like the look of brush strokes and roller texture - a spray gun would have been better), but it covered well, it matches the crib, and most importantly it was free!  I will add some before and after pictures after we get the dresser reassembled and put some hardware on it.

-While we were picking up our crib on Saturday we went to Buy Buy Baby in Mason since it was kinda/sorta close.  I really really wish there was one of these a little closer to our house.  This store is lightyears nicer and friendlier than Babies R Us.  I think even though it's kinda far away I'm going to end up registering there.  That's the magic of online shopping, right?  An employee spent 45 minutes with us going over all of the complicated stroller situations and I think I have decided that I want the City Select by Baby Jogger.  I still want to look at some other ones that can eventually morph into a 2-child stroller because even though I hate being pregnant, I know I want more than one baby in this life.  However, I'm the girl who married her high school sweetheart, ended up buying the first wedding dress she put on, took home the first dog she went to see at a shelter, and bought the first house we looked at on our search for a new home, so I'm pretty sure I know what I want when I want it and I'm not going to change my mind. (*ahem Jake* super expensive rocker/glider that I want from Treehouse Kids Company)

-I am so excited to start picking out cute girl stuff now.  Let the shopping and emptying of the checkbook (for the rest of Jake's life - from bows to shoes to softball gloves to makeup to college to weddings) begin!

-I actually feel like I have a little tiny human in my stomach now instead of some freaky alien thing that's just making my back hurt and my boobs grow.  I am even happier to report that as far as the ultrasound goes, she's healthy and moving around just like she should be.  In true stubborn Horner form, she has pushed her due date back to January 11th, making me cook her for 5 days longer.  A diva just like her momma...