Thirty-Six.

How Far Along: 36 weeks.  THE FINAL COUNTDOWN...

Total Weight Gain: I gained 2 pounds again last week - 37 total. I have officially exceeded the recommended weight gain.  I'm going to blame my fabulous weekend for this week's weight gain, and I'm not even sad about it because it was so much fun.

Maternity Clothes: Getting dressed has become a daily struggle.  I don't ever feel like doing laundry, so I have half of my limited wardrobe to choose from each morning before work.  While I'm still wearing heels, I am limited to about 2-3 pairs because my other pairs are just a little too tight on my semi-swollen feet to wear all day.  My boot selection is down to one old pair that still fits around my fat, non-defined calves.  My pants are too long to wear flats to work, so until I physically cannot wear my heels anymore, I need to save the bottom of my pants and continue to wear heels.  I can't afford giving up pants for 2-3 days to have them hemmed.  I have officially reached the point however, where I would prefer to be in sweats (and not just any sweats, Jake's sweats) 24 hours a day. 

Sleep: I wish I could report that this is better, but it's not.  I hardly find my obnoxiously expensive, state-of-the-art, I would have killed 10 months ago to have this mattress, mattress comfortable anymore.  I flop and roll around and grunt and whine all night.  My I can't sleep and I hate being pregnant noises rival Jake's snoring but somehow he continues to sleep through the night.  I have a feeling when Sam gets here and he is up all hours of the night, he is going to feel like he got hit by a semi-truck.  Maybe I will consider that the one positive of being the female in a pregnant relationship?  There will be no shock for me when I have to function every day on 4 hours of sleep.

Sam's Things: Our laptop decided the most opportune time in the world to break would be two weeks before Christmas which is also two weeks before the arrival of our little one. I am so pumped about spending $500 on a new computer I can hardly stand it!! However, this means no pictures this week because I'm writing this post from my phone. Blah.

Best Moment this Week: Any weekend that I get to see my college friends automatically becomes my favorite moment of the week.  We spent all weekend together hanging out, catching up, celebrating Christmas, and celebrating ENGAGEMENTS (congrats LR & PV!!!).  We also spent a lot of time eating, hence my 2 pound weight gain.  At one point on Saturday night we had 14 people on our sectional couch in our living room.  14 includes two fetuses in-utero, but they count too!  It was a absolute blast, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't exhausted from constant stimulation for 48 hours straight.  I can't believe the next time I'll see my bestest friends, I'm going to have a baby. 

Movement: She's still moving around quite a lot in here.  Sometimes I wonder what she is doing.  I kind of thought I'd be able to tell a little easier what kind of position she's in and what kind of movement she is making, but most of the time it just feels like a crazy dance party or some big stretching yawn.  For the life of me I can't understand why she hasn't made an attempt to stretch her body out and move her feet away from her head.  I keep picturing her coming out of my belly and being stuck folded in half for 2-3 weeks after she is born.

Food Cravings: We had "baking day" with my family Sunday afternoon.  I'm going to estimate I had about 1,500 calories in cookies and cookie dough during a 3 hour span.  I literally could not stop sticking my finger in the dough, and I hoovered 2 chocolate chip cookies in 45 seconds at one point.  I am a sick individual.  It's the first time at Christmas I haven't really felt guilty about eating whatever sweet treats I see, so I am still living by the mantra "enjoy it while you can".  In about 3 weeks this whole 3,500 calories a day is going to come to an abrupt hault.  It's quite a wonder I haven't gained 75 pounds the last 2 months of my pregnancy because I have really, really let myself go.

Symptoms: Pretty much every time I eat any amount of food, I am so uncomfortable for several hours that I just squirm around like a toddler in church.  I can't even lay in my bed and adjust the elevation of my feet or head to make me comfortable.  It's horrible.  It feels like Sam's feet are up IN my rib cage and have separated my lowest ribs on my right side.  I am just desperately sick of being pregnant and I am ready to meet this precious little babe who's been kicking me in the ribs the past few months.

What I Miss: While I was laying awake one night this past week, I thought of three things that I have disliked about being pregnant more than anything else. They pretty much encompass my attitude about the physical part of being pregnant.  So here they are, in no particular order:

1. I hate not being able to drink alcohol.  I realize I sound like some raging alcoholic when I say this, but it's true.  I am a casual drinker.  I like to have wine with dinner, I like to drink beer before Reds games or while watching any sporting event.  Water at 10pm while I'm out with my friends got real old, real fast.  I am legitimately sad that I can't have a glass of wine on my birthday, or celebrate with Jake in boozing style on his 30th birthday in two weeks.  I am sincerely looking forward to being able to have an occasional drink when she gets here, and I really don't feel bad about saying that.

2. I am sick of constant raging back pain/being uncomfortable.  Again, I realize I sound like a whiny biatch when I say I am never comfortable, but the truth hurts.  I feel like I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so I don't think I'm overexaggerating any of these symptoms of discomfort.  I sit at my desk at work all day in a constant state of discomfort.  I don't sleep because my back hurts so bad.  I can't eat an apple without feeling like I've eaten a 7 course Italian feast.  I'm at the point where several days I week I have shooting sciatic pain down both of my legs and I walk around my house like an 85 year old woman after double hip replacement.  I know I'm going to be tired when she gets here, but I will be happy to be able to lounge on my couch for more than 10 minutes without having to change positions because something is causing me pain. 

3. I hate having no control over my body.  I am an independent person, and not being able to lift things around my house because I might hurt my baby or send myself into pre-term labor has also gotten real old, real fast.  I don't like that it's difficult for me to carry laundry up and down the stairs because my belly is in the way of carrying the laundry basket.  I hate that my hips are expanding and my boobs are both the size of Mt. Everest and there's literally nothing I can do about it.  I don't like feeling like a hormonal nightmare who has no control over her feelings.  I have no idea what kind of mood each day is going to bring, and I am ready to feel normal again.

I recognize that things could have been a lot worse for me. I never got sick, I didn't gain 90 pounds, I didn't develop diabetes or preeclampsia, but these three things for me have been really hard to deal with and I'm sorry I'm not sorry for complaining about them!

What I am Looking Forward to: Meeting miss Samantha in the true live flesh sometime in the next few weeks!  It's so close I can taste it.

Exercise: The doctor at Christ on Friday said that I could still be exercising, so I really am going to make a valiant effort this week to do that pregnancy video 2-3 times when I get home from work this week.  We'll see how that goes.

Noteworthy Items:

-Sam continues to grow.  I am still going bi-weekly for BPPs until she gets here.  It's pretty cool to get to see her twice a week now, so I guess that's the one plus of having issues with your pregnancy!

-I need to pack my hospital bag.  That was a goal of mine for the beginning of December.  It's December 10th, I need to get on the ball.

-Although I have not done much more than complain about being how much I hate being pregnant over the last 8 months, I must say that the closer I get to having this baby the more excited I get about being a parent.  I am 150% terrified, but I am also 150% ecstatic.  I am ready to see her sweet face, and hold her in my arms instead of in my belly.  I want to dress her up in her bows and her cute little baby outfits.  I want my family to meet her.  I can't wait to see my parents be grandparents and my brother and sister be an aunt and uncle.  I want to see how Callie reacts to her.  I'm excited for all of our friends to meet her.  But more than anything, I want Jake to meet her.  I am ready to tackle parenthood with my partner in crime, and I can't wait to see him interact with her because I just know I'm going to fall in love with him all over again.