How Far Along: 26 weeks
Total Weight Gain: 21 pounds. Yikes. The self-imposed 25 pound limit has officially been tossed out the window. WTF-EVER! As long as I can get it off next year, for now I officially do not care.
Maternity Clothes: I ordered new work pants. 21 pounds later the original maternity size I bought do not fit my ever-growing arse anymore. They were delivered today...and thank God because I'm running out of dresses to wear to work without repeating the same dress within the week. I did some damage at Loft on Friday with their 40% off sale. Maybe my new fabulous jewelry will take the focus off of my fat ass and thunder thighs. I snagged some super comfy "skinny" jeans (I highly recommend the cheap-ish Heidi Klum brand instead of the $130 jeans the sales associate so graciously pointed me to originally) and some maternity tights since it's starting to get cool (yay fall!). I feel as though "skinny" and "maternity" do not really belong in the same sentence but you know, they are jeans I can tuck into boots. I took some of my boots to get stretched too, because my swollen calves have zero chance of fitting into the shaft of these already tight boots. Fingers crossed that on Friday when I pick them up they have been stretched a good inch around.
Sleep: I think my belly is finally big enough now that not only does my back hurt because my boobs are huge and it can't handle holding them up anymore, but when I'm laying on my side, gravity is pulling the weight of my belly toward the mattress, causing more pressure on my back. I already have about 75 pillows in my bed trying to support different areas of my body, pretty soon Jake is going to be demoted to the guest bedroom due to "no room for you because pillows have taken over our bed." I think this weekend we'll probably go back out and look at mattresses and make a decision about the memory foam. People either love them or hate them, there is no in between, so here's hoping if we buy one I end up being one of the people who loves them.
Gender: MS bought the cay-uuuutest little cheetah shoes for Sam-monkey. She is going to rock them so hard!
Best Moment this Week: I had several great happenings this past week. I had a great time shopping with MS on Friday after work. As I previously stated, I did some damage at Loft and had a great time shopping for regular people clothes vicariously through her. The absolute best part of my week though, was getting a call from a dear friend about some great news in her life. I love experiencing exciting things with people that I love, and it made my week! As if all of that wasn't great enough, most of my favorite TV shows started last week! Good-bye productivity, hello couch-sitting!
Movement: Over the weekend Little Miss Sam became very active. Sunday night she was putting on her very own Gabby Douglas style floor routine in my belly. I have determined that she loves ice cream and it makes her dance :) I'm done reporting on the fruit and veggie comparisons because they are SO DUMB, but they say my uterus is now the size of a basketball. Considering the now very noticeable size of my belly, I can't say I'm surprised.
Food Cravings: We went to the grocery store on Sunday and started prepping food for the week. We forgot one ingredient for one of our meals, and I refused to go back to the hellhole that is Newport Kroger, so I had Jake drop me off at Remke. Not only is Remke not crowded at all, but they have those iced animal cookies with the rainbow polka dot sprinkles on them. I can't find these things anywhere, but I know Remke has them! You bet your sweet behind I trekked down that cookie aisle and bought a bag. I am relishing all $3.79 worth of that tiny bag of them. Wooo!
Symptoms: I am starting to notice some slight swelling in my fingers occasionally. It's not an every day thing, but one morning last week I woke up and could hardly get my rings off before my shower. For now I'm blaming it on the humid weather but soon that won't be an excuse anymore. In case anyone was wondering, my back still hurts and my boobs are still huge.
What I Miss: Smaller jugs. My friends who are also members of the big-titty-committee will vouch for me on this: I will never understand why anyone in their right mind would ever "enhance" their breasts to anything larger than a B cup. The thought of having to go to the store to spend another obnoxious amount of dough on an obnoxiously sized bra makes me want to upchuck my iced animal cookies. Seriously people, buy a push up bra and some chicken cutlets and save yourself some backache, literally. I would give my left pinky toe for a B cup right now. Any takers?
What I am Looking Forward to: Five work days until a 9 day staycation and our five year anniversary. I can't believe we got married five years ago. It really does feel like such a short amount of time has passed, I guess it's true that time flies when you're having fun. I feel so blessed to have met the love of my life when I was only 15 years old, I know not everyone has such incredible luck and timing. If 15 year old me knew what 27 year old me knows, she may have done 17 laps around her parents house before our first date instead of the mere 3 she did screaming about how excited she was that Jake Donelan was coming to get her. We have so much fun together and I am so excited to spend the rest of my life continuing to have a blast with him (and Sam)! He is truly my soulmate and I would undoubtedly be lost without him.
Exercise: I actually really stepped up my game this week. On Monday I walked at lunch. Tuesday I did the arc trainer and the rowing machine at lunch, and then went to Pure Barre with my sissy after work. Thursday I walked after work, and Saturday morning we hit up Pure Barre again. All I have to say about Pure Barre is that if you think it is hard when you're not knocked up, wait until you try it when you are. Not only that, but if you ever felt like a fat cow next to all the skinny bitches in the class before you were knocked up, wait until you stand next to those same skinny bitches when you are. Oh well, at least it's a good workout. Moving on...
Noteworthy Items:
-I super love getting people's opinions about all things baby, because let's face it, I don't have the slightest clue what the eff I'm doing. I don't really do kids in general, so this is all brand new to me. However, I now have no clue what to about the ottoman/glider debacle because so many people have made so many good points about buying one and not buying one. I need someone to just purchase something for me so I don't have to make a decision. Anyone with some extra $$$$ laying around that's willing to give it up for a glider, let me know. Please, and thank you.
-Poor little Callie Bear went to the vet again last week and the doc said her foot looked good when they switched her splint the week before. She said to try to leave the splint on until her appointment this week, but that if it started slipping or smelling that we could go ahead and cut it off. Callie must have gotten in a fight with mud because by Friday night the thing was hardly pink anymore, it was just covered in brown dirt so we cut it off. The swelling has definitely gone down, but my poor little muffin is still pitifully limping around the house. I am hoping it's just stiff and she needs some time to work it out, but we'll have to wait and see what the vet says on Wednesday.
-Even though I did fulfill a certain shopping need on Friday, I have decided I need to stay off of pinterest and away from any shopping establishment. The bigger my belly gets the sadder I get that I cannot partake in all of the usual fall fashions. I know it's not a BIG DEAL, but I want some colored skinny jeans okay?!?! I just don't want to spend money on colored skinny jeans I'm going to wear once every 2 weeks for 3 months. No thank you! I want to wear a pencil skirt and look good in it, not like a big huge pregnant lady waddling through the halls at work thinking she's hot shizzz but really looking like a beached whale. This is me throwing a pity party for myself :(
-Note to anyone with a garbage disposal. Do not put chicken fat in your disposal while you are making dinner unless you want your kitchen to look like this for more than a day:
-I met my co-workers adorable month-old twins on Friday, and I can safely say that I finally have baby fever (yes I am six months pregnant and finally caught it). Holy explosion of cuteness in a double stroller!
-I spent most of my weekend sans make-up. Let me just say that there is zero chance on God's green earth that I will ever be one of those people that can go "au naturale" on a regular basis. Without at least a little tinted moisturizer and some mascara, I look like I got hit by a bus. And I'm not talking a short tailgating bus, I am talking a full on Justin Bieber sized tour bus. First of all, there will be NO pictures taken in the delivery room without my make up on. And second of all, I don't care how tired I am, Sam can be put in a baby carrier on my back for 5 minutes in the morning before I leave the house so I can look like I came from the land of the living and not from Michael Jackson's Thriller video. Yes, I'm a diva. And I'm sincerely sorry you had to look at me all weekend, Jake.
-When I was growing up I was always like "Mom, why do you always have to worry about me?" It was like it was annoying knowing that she was worried about what I was doing when I just knew everything was going to be just fine. Well, welcome to motherhood, Jessica. I am already in a constant state of worry about this little monkey in my belly. I'm worried that my incessant amounts of sugar intake are going to turn her into a hyperactive toddler, or that she'll come out and need some sort of medical attention, or that she's going to get picked on when she's in grade school, or that she is going to end up with (gasp!) Jake's nose or my toe-thumbs! I can't help it and I can't stop. I guess I will just have to get used to living in a constant state of worry-wort. Maybe that's just called being a parent?
-Along those same lines, I've noticed over the last several years that time seems to "fly by" more than it used to. But these last few months have absolutely gone at lightning speed. One minute it's 2:15 on Friday, the next minute it's 9:30am the following Tuesday. It's incredible how it seems like yesterday I was having breakdowns about my life as I know it being over, and now I can't wait to meet this little booger!
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