Twenty-Eight.

How Far Along: 27 weeks

Total Weight Gain: I gained 2.5 pounds over the last two weeks.  I'm up to 24 pounds total.  Next week my 25 pound limit will officially, officially be out the window.  As long as I don't get super fat face until late December, I will be fine with this.

Maternity Clothes: No clothes shopping this past week, but I did buy some new make-up at Sephora during our staycation while Jake stood outside of the store and acted like his life was ending because I spent "so much time in there".  Scarves are my new favorite accessory - they cover up my huge knockers while also providing some warmth and pizzazz to an otherwise fairly boring maternity wardrobe (can you say "I love to wear the same outfit 3 days in a row because it's comfortable and looks kind of cute and I don't feel like doing laundry").  I will say that although I spent some pretty pennies at Rosie Pope earlier in my pregnancy, the money was well worth it.  I have gotten a lot of wear out of each of the pieces I bought, and I get a lot of compliments every time I wear them.  For a pregnant lady who feels like she's waddling around flashing her double chin to everyone, a compliment on her clothes can be a great thing.

Sleep: With the exception of last night (I did not sleep a lick last night probably due to the impending first day back to work after vacation), I would like to do an infomercial for the adjustable old people hospital bed and memory foam.  The first night we had the thing delivered I felt like I was sleeping on a cloud.  I woke up and literally felt zero back pain.  The bed and adjustable frame were more than worth the money and I am so glad we did it.  I really do think it will provide years and years of a good night's sleep and less back pain.  I am in love.

Sam's Things:  Obviously we know Sam is a girl so I feel like this whole "gender" category is lost on me now.  I'm going to make this a category of things we bought her or things other people bought her so that I can keep track of who gave her what as I continue to lose my mind from sleepless nights.  I can't include everything or I'd be posting pictures all day every day, but here are some picture worthy things from the shower on Saturday:

Yes, this is another adult outfit for a little person.  Thank you LR!

Sam's monogram that we hung last week, the crib mobile from LR, and a quilt from Aunt Kelly.

I should have added this a long time ago, a rocking horse made by Aunt Kelly while in college :)

Super cute rocking chair from the Herde ladies and an elephant from France from JVDS!

 Best Moment this Week: I certainly cannot pick one best moment from this past week because my entire week was super awesome.  If you are one of those people (like me) that gets annoyed by other people gushing over how much they love their partner in crime, then I suggest you stop reading now because you will probably proceed to vomit.

I had the best week with Jake.  I want to bottle it up and save it forever, because I know it was the last time in our lives we will spend extended time together as a family of 2.  I've always known that I wanted to be a mom, and after I fell in love with Mr. Right, I knew I wanted him to be my baby daddy.  However, after 12 years of being a couple (read TWO people), it's pretty weird to think that it's never going to be just us ever again.  I know everybody says that once you have your kids you can't even remember what it was like before you had your kids, but I find that pretty hard to believe.  We have made so many great memories together and I will certainly cherish those forever, even after sweet Sam makes her worldly appearance. 

This past week we went shopping for golf clubs, a mattress, makeup, and our glider.  We went to a pumpkin patch and carved pumpkins together.  We got a couples' massage.  We painted the guest bedroom together and rearranged the furniture.  We went to 2 Reds games together and watched 5 in total (even though they demonstrated that they are apparently the ultimate choke artists, I echo Jake's perfect facebook post from after Game 5 - I always have been and always will be a proud Reds fan, even if I can't consciously remember a postseason win in my lifetime).  We spent time with some of our dearest friends on the planet, and did some things around our house that need to get done before Miss Thing gets here.  The older I get, and the more I learn about marriage, the more thankful I am that I found someone that I actually enjoy spending time with.  I'm totally one of those "let me ask Jake if we have plans" people because there's really nobody else I'd rather be with than him.  This past week was so wonderful.  It flew by very quickly, and we didn't do anything epic, but I'll remember it forever. 

Movement: She is really only active at night.  I'm a little worried that her active time periods are an indication that she is going to be a night owl.  My mom assures me that if I stick to my guns with the sleeping patterns when she gets here that it won't take long for her to adjust.  Mother knows best :)

Food Cravings: Food.  Food.  Food.  Food.  Food.  Food.  Food.

Symptoms: Still no fun symptoms like thicker hair, slightly bigger feet, or glowing skin.  Just your regular old thick blond beard, cartoonish boobs, chronic back pain, fat ass, and double chin.  Also - it's getting semi-difficult to pull on socks and boots.  Jake is going to need to be my right hand man for that for the next two months.  Just as much as I'm not giving up my heels until it's 150% necessary, I am absolutely NOT giving up boots either.  Boot-a-holic.

What I Miss: Being a single occupancy human, period.

What I am Looking Forward to: Getting through this work week without wanting to shoot myself in the foot.

Exercise: As I could have predicted, I worked out a whopping ZERO times during our time off.  I guess it's good I wasn't sitting at a desk all week and not working out, but the lack of any kind of physical activity is probably going to catch up to me during my first workout this week.  Yikes.

Noteworthy Items:

-To the litle asshole punks who creepily walked onto my porch and stole two of my pumpkins that I went to a pumpkin patch with my husband to pick out and carved and painted with my husband during our last vacation as a family of two, I hope you're pleased with yourself.  You caused a pregnant lady to have a complete emotional breakdown (we're talking 20 solid minutes of sobbing in the shower) on Sunday morning because you destroyed the one thing I felt I had to show from our fabulously unproductive week off.  Those pumpkins were on my porch for a mere three days before your sorry ass stole them.  You do realize that you stole my property and then proceeded to vandalize it, breaking not one, but two laws.  You are a creep and I hate you and I hope you fail all of your midterms. 

The cute display before the assclowns stole our pumpkins.

-Callie has miraculously stopped limping.  Of course she stopped after we ordered the ankle brace for her, but I am just happy we have hopefully avoided the surgery.  We're going to keep the brace in case she starts up again, but I'm going to keep hoping and praying that she has made some sort of miraculous full recovery.

-My friends threw such a wonderful baby shower for me and Sam on Saturday.  I am eternally grateful for the friendships I made while I was in college, and for the effort we have all made to stay in touch with each other since we finished school.  I'm pretty impressed with us for remaining as close as we have for 5 years while we've been scattered around the midwest.  Thank you thank you thank you all for a wonderful party and for the adorable gifts for our little babe.  She is going to have the best aunts in the whole world and I am so blessed to be able to bring her into a world full of love and support from such great people!  Jake and I both love all of you more than you know!

Fabulous and adorable cake made with love by AW and MH.  Thanks lovies :)

-I have made it to the third trimester.  We went to the doctor today and everything is still looking good.  The doc said she is a small baby (fine by me and my lady parts), but that it's okay that she's small.  We heard the heartbeat again and it sounded stronger than ever.  I absolutely cannot believe that we have less than 3 months to prepare to be parents forever.  Commence: freakout mode.