Total Weight Gain: Well, by some weird grace of God, I lost a pound last week. I've gained 28 pounds total. Somehow between lack of exercise and eating the leftover Halloween candy (we got 2 trick-or-treaters so there were plenty of Twix to be consumed), I lost a pound. Can someone please explain this to me? It's like I'm being rewarded for bad behavior. Doesn't bode well for ever trying to lose weight...
Maternity Clothes: I bought two sweaters at Gap on Saturday. I figured I'd need a sweater or two for the winter, so I got a gray one and a tan one. Now, unless my ass and thighs continue to grow, I'm going to seriously refrain from any more clothing purchases until after this baby gets here. I can't begin to say how many times I have filled a shopping cart up at loft.com or rosiepope.com when they are having massive sales and then said to myself no Jessica it's a waste of money don't do it. Then somehow some will power from deep within kicks in and I exit off the site before I have time to type in my memorized credit card number and buy clothes I don't really need. Phew.
Sleep: Sleep is just ish at this point. Some nights are better than others. If I wake up having only woken up to pee one time, with less back pain than normal, and with 6 or 7 hours under my belt, I consider that a success, no matter how many times I roll over throughout the night. This time change on the other hand is not welcome. No thank you to 5pm darkness!
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| Love this burp cloth. Thanks MS :) |
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| Love the monkey cuddler too - thanks again MS :) |
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| Sweet little dress purchased by Grandma Peg |
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| Finally got our changing pad, a little diaper caddy, some cloth diaper covers, and the monitor. The changing table is coming together! |
Best Moment this Week: The shower on Saturday was definitely the best moment this week. I continue to feel so humbled by the outpouring of love and support that close friends and family have shown to us while we prepare to welcome this new little addition to our family. I've said it before, but I am just so happy to be bringing her into a world where although there is turmoil, I know she will be so loved and surrounded by good people. It's a reassuring feeling for a scared-out-of-her-mind 27 year old diva who does not feel prepared to be a mom!
Movement: Sam loves to kick me in the ribs. She also loves to kick my bladder. She also loves to be awake at night while I'm getting ready to go to sleep. This is not news, but things haven't changed. I think I have also felt some Braxton-Hicks contractions. They are usually on the left side of my belly. It just feels like this weird tightening for about 15-20 seconds and then it goes away. It's not painful, just kind of uncomfortable and bizarre feeling. Let's just say I won't be making Jake rush me to the hospital any time soon if I continue to feel them.
Food Cravings: I'm thinking maybe, just maybe, the lack of room in my belly for food is the reason for my one pound weight loss this week. I simply cannot eat as much as I could a few weeks ago. My small bowl of cereal in the morning fills me up for a good 2-3 hours. I go to dinner and eat a normal sized meal and I'm uncomfortably full for hours on end. It's forced me to cut down on snacking and ice cream intake. Maybe this full/bloated feeling will be my saving grace these last two months.
Symptoms: Emotional basketcase. For the past few weeks I have had a pretty severe emotional breakdown at least once a week. This week it happened around midnight on Saturday. Jake was in Lexington and I was home by myself. I couldn't fall asleep because my mind was racing about God knows what, so I got out my pregnancy book and started reading, hoping it would put me to sleep. Could. Not. Have. Been. More. Wrong. After reading about the possible swelling of my ankles and legs (and lady parts - EW), I entered a state of full-on sobbing. Black tears all over my pajamas, snot all over my tissues, Callie slobber all over my face (she loves those salty tears) and heaving shoulders made up the next 30 minutes of my life. I'm not sure what eventually calmed me down but I did end up getting some sleep. Although I understand the first three months of baby life will be an emotional rollercoaster as well, I'll be more than happy to have my normal hormones back sometime next summer and feel like a functional human being again.
What I Miss: Shopping. All of the stores have their fun winter sets out and it makes me sad to not participate. The maternity section at Gap is just plain pathetic. The sweaters I bought are gray and tan (boring!). At Destination Maternity all of the cute clothes are $150 or more for a dress or a top (no thanks!). I will be so happy next spring when I can go back to my favorite stores and buy normal people clothes. I am sick of feeling so blah in drab colors almost every day. My mom said it best "you are a captive audience with limited selection". She is so right. The companies who actually make cute clothes know they can charge outrageous amounts for clothes because there is no competition for other cute clothes.
What I am Looking Forward to: Another shower! This coming weekend our high school softball girls are throwing a shower for us. We are both so excited to see all of the girls and the parents again. I know this upcoming season is going to be really hard for us not seeing them every day. It was hard enough when our seniors would graduate every year, so I know this season is going to be even harder. I can't wait until Saturday.
Exercise: This was not a great week for me for exercising. I did Pure Barre on Tuesday and that was it, unless you count walking around the mall with my mom and sister on Saturday night. I don't. The freezing cold weather has not helped my cause. Also not helping my cause - I hate walking. I can't wait to run again!
Noteworthy Items:
-Tuesday is election day. I'm not going to get political, because if you know me, you know my thoughts on politics. I will say two things though: 1) I am so glad I don't have to listen to stupid and dumb political ads anymore after tomorrow, including the ignorance all over social media. I'd rather read about your awesome time at the gym or your baby's poopy diaper than your stance on politics! Most of the people I surround myself with are pretty set in their ways, and somebody spewing their political opinions on facebook or twitter is not going to change their opinion. Therefore, I can't wait for it to stop. And 2) please exercise your right as an American Citizen by educating yourself on the issues, choosing a candidate that jives most with your core beliefs, and vote! One of my biggest pet peeves is people who complain about things that are going on in the country who then divulge that they didn't or don't vote. A girl I went to college with (who lived in Ohio by the way) complained the day after Bush was elected in 2004 about how much she hated him and then told me she didn't vote. If you live in a swing state and you didn't vote and you don't like the outcome of the election then you can kindly keep your opinion to yourself! Stepping off soapbox...
-And stepping onto another one. I got the most ridiculous email the other day from Everyday Family. Look, I get that my body is probably never going to be the same. And I get that it's going to be a lot of hard work to look remotely close to what I looked like before. For my sake, Jake's sake, and Sam's sake, I hope I'm up for the challenge. By the same token, I also know that what I don't need right now is an email from a national magazine with this picture in it:
First of all, I feel like a fat cow as it is. The last thing I currently need from a random publication is a reminder that my naked body is never going to look the same. So thanks for that.
Secondly, this is not my child. So actually NO, this baby is not worth not wearing my bikini again. It's not Samantha. It's a baby model. Nice try.
Third of all, who are you to say I'm not going to wear my bikini again? What if I decide I want to walk around with my stretch marks and cellulite hanging out for all of the world to see? What if I am Giselle Bunchen and I don't get stretch marks and cellulite? What if I'm 16 and the chances of my body looking the same after baby are about 100 to 1? What if I'm a freakshow athlete who ran a marathon when I was 7 months pregnant and there is no doubt in my mind I'm going to look the same after baby?
This is a major, major WTF moment for me. The person who distributed this email from Everyday Family should be punched in the mouth. And then spit on. And then forced to walk around in their underwear. For 9 months. Screw you. Stepping off second soapbox...
-Taylor Swift's new album "Red" is muy fabuloso. So is Jason Aldean's "Night Train". I would highly recommend both to any country music lover. They have been on 24 hour repeat since I purchased both of them. Sorry, Jake.
-I had a 31 week check up today at the doctor's office and everything still looks fine. In two weeks I'll go back to the doctor for an ultrasound to check the location of my placenta (I sincerely hope it has moved upwards so that I don't run any major birth risks from a low sitting one). It's funny how Jake and I are both looking forward to that appointment so we can get another little sneak peak at Sam. We love her already and we can't wait to see what she looks like in real life! Yay!
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