I think I may have mentioned this in a post when we first found out I was pregnant - but life really is one big ironic a-hole sometimes, isn't it? Spend 8 months trying to get pregnant, and then 10 days later find out your dog is inevitably going to die? Spend 8 months whining and complaining about being pregnant, only to find out that you're at risk of delivering your baby early - like way too early.
Here I am again at this place where I don't have earth-shattering, life-changing, devastatingly horrible news, but I do have news that's just not what you want to hear. If it's true that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle, he must think Jake and I are Olympic triathletes, because I've had about enough not-so-great news trying to have another healthy baby to last me for the next few years.
As I mentioned last week, I have been having a lot of cramping and pressure in my lower abdomen. I don't really remember this at all with Sam, so obviously I mentioned it to my doctor at my appointment on Tuesday. I guess my 32 week appointment was scheduled to include a vaginal exam anyway, but because of my symptoms (which I now know were most likely actual contractions) he decided that it would be good idea to do a fetal fibronectin test to test for pre-term labor. This tests for presence of the protein that holds your baby in place in your uterus. If the test is positive, it means that you are at a higher risk of going into labor soon (my doctor said "in the next 3 weeks"). The thing about this test is that there are false positives, meaning that it doesn't mean if you test positive you are definitely going into labor in the next few weeks, it just means your body is leaking fFn, and is a sign that your body may be getting ready to deliver. My test was positive. My doctor told me that he really doesn't think that I will go into labor within the next week. My cervix is "softer than it should be at 32 weeks" and I quote "he can see my mucus plug" (is there a grosser phrase in the English language?), but I'm not dilated at all.
The net of this is that I'm on a prescription to help stop the contractions. I've been on it since Tuesday and I can definitely tell that they have slowed down significantly. I've also been put on what I would call a modified bed rest. He told me I need to take it easy, stop exercising (wah), and lay off the household chores (darn!). If you know me at all, you know that sitting still is not exactly in my DNA (thanks Dad!). My genes + a 3 year old are probably going to make "taking it easy" a relatively difficult task. So thank goodness for parents as roommates right now - a super Poppy to play with Sam and a super GG to make dinner every night. If not for them, I don't really know how our house would be functioning right now!
After 8 months of trying to get pregnant with this little booger, a trimester of morning sickness, an umbilical cord abnormality, and possible pre-term labor, it seems like this little lady is going to be quite the handful. I guess the good news in all of this is that if I go into labor on my own a little bit early, she will probably be a little bit smaller than your run of the mill full term baby, so I'll probably be able to have a vaginal birth. If she comes early, we'll get to enjoy her for a little longer than we would if she comes late. And lastly, my sciatic pain will be gone sooner rather than later (I'm kidding but not). On the other hand, the bad news is the thought of her coming any time before 36 weeks scares the absolute crap out of me. I'd suffer through 1,000 weeks of pregnancy again if I could guarantee this little babe comes out healthy and not in need of extraordinary care.
So Macy, I know I said I was "over it", but if you could do mommy a favor and keep your cute little tushy put right here inside my uterus for at least another 3 or 4 weeks, that would be fantastic. I know you really want to meet your sister - she's pretty hilarious and cute - and I know you really want to meet Mommy and Daddy - we try really hard to be good parents - but if you stay put (and even if you don't), we promise to spoil you with more love than you can imagine, and also a whole lot of hair bows.
On to the original post...
How Far Along: 32 Weeks
Size of Peanut: Squash. Okay - so the weight estimate of this baby has not increased at all on thebump.com for like 4 weeks. Maybe Macy isn't that small after all?
Total Weight Gain: According to my scale at home, I have only gained a half a pound since January 24th. As much as I obviously don't want to gain any more weight at this point (specifically in my ass and thighs), I'm pretty sure NOT gaining any weight at this juncture is not a good thing for Macy. Although highly unlikely, hopefully my bottom half is shrinking while she continues to grow. That's the only logical explanation for this odd weight gain at this point, right?
Maternity Clothes: Most everything still fits at this point. My wardrobe is pretty pitiful. I wear the same things over and over again. I'm really ready to have my entire wardrobe back at my disposal.
Exercise: Still doing well in this department. Usually the hour I spend exercising and stretching is the most comfortable hour of my day. I can no longer lay on my back without feeling like I'm going to pass out after about 15 seconds, so I'm having to modify any exercise that would constitute me doing that. I'm really hoping to keep this up until the very end. A girl at my gym at work was at the gym 3 days before her due date this week, so here's hoping I can do the same thing!
HA! Well, I wrote this snippet on Monday and went to the doctor on Tuesday and got some new information, so I guess I jinxed myself.
*My thoughts on not being able to exercise: I know I sound like one of those douchey a-holes who is like "woo I love working out look at me posting on Facebook about it and checking in to some gym every 5 seconds and look how healthy I am. But here's the thing - I actually really do love working out. I love sweating. I love running. I love feeling like my arms and legs are going to give out. I love pushing it just a little bit harder. To say I am really sad about having to give that up for 3 or 4 months would be an understatement. It's a stress reliever for me. It's how I spend my lunch break at work. I really hope I don't turn into some endorphin-less jerk with no energy while I sit my happy ass on a couch for the next few months and do nothing!
Sleep: What a joke. We got our second "bed in a box" mattress about 3 weeks ago. Jake and I both absolutely hated it even more than the other one. It was SO firm and just plain not comfortable. Even though we ended up spending pretty significantly more than we planned on spending when we first bought the Leesa mattress 3 months ago, I think we finally found one at Mattress Firm that will do the trick. The mattress itself is SO THICK that I think we are going to need to change the frame that it's sitting on, at least for the remainder of my pregnancy and recovery after birth (it's like climbing Everest to get into my bed). Fingers crossed that we continue to like it going forward.
Movement: Macy babe continues to be super active throughout most of the day. I do feel her in the middle of the night sometimes. Although it's relatively irritating to be woken up in the middle of the night, chances are I am changing positions or getting up to pee anyway, so usually her movement at 3am just serves as a reminder that all is well and good in there and she's just stretching her little cramped self out.
Food Cravings: Still just allll the sugar, allll the time. On Tuesday I asked Jake to get me a hot fudge sundae from Frisch's, and those asshats were out of ice cream. How can you be OUT OF ICE CREAM? Instead he went to Graeter's and brought it home to me where I proceeded to eat half of the pint. Since I didn't get my hot fudge fix, I made him stop on his way home from running group (cruel, I know) and see if Frisch's had ice cream back in stock (fools). Lucky for me, they did. I wonder what kind of sweet treats I can stuff myself with for the rest of the week??
What I Miss: Only waking up to pee ONCE every night, rather than 2, 3, or 4 times. Lofty goals, right?
What I am Looking Forward to: We are finally, I repeat FINALLY, closing on our construction loan on Friday and having our final pre-construction meeting with the builder. I could not be more excited. I love my parents, and I'm so grateful that they have room for us to be there (and given my current circumstances, it could not be better timing), but I am looking forward to having my own space again! I really hope we break ground in the next few weeks. I'm also looking forward to showering my sister-in-law with love and gifts on Sunday at her bridal shower! She is going to be a beautiful bride, and she deserves all the happiness in the world!
Symptoms: Well...contractions, cramping, abdominal pressure. Oh, and back pain, sciatic pain, frequent urination, headaches, huge boobs, and sleeplessness.
Best Moment(s) this week: Tuesday was a rough night for us, trying to process and make sense of all the "what-ifs", and I was a little nervous about Wednesday being home with Sam and taking it easy. The one thing about Wednesday though, is that I get to pick Sam up from preschool. This is one thing I look forward to each week more than anything. Kelle Hampton said something in one of her posts the other day about preschool pick up that I could not say better myself. This week, picking my sweet girl up from preschool was one of my best moments, so I wanted to leave this right here for me to remember forever, because it's oh so very true.
@etst: Can we talk about preschool pick-up for a minute? It's one of my favorite moments of the day. No matter how quick that pick-up time comes, no matter how much I failed to get done before I have to leave, I roll up in that pick-up line, catch sight of them standing with their teacher waiting for me, and my heart flutters. Every. Damn. Time. The look on their faces when they see me. I park the car, open the door, run out to greet them and for one tiny second, I can't breathe. That hug. That "Mommy!". How lucky to experience that moment over and over and over.
Sam Tidbits:
Sam got a black eye this weekend. She is a trooper and doesn't really seem to care about it. No, I don't beat my child, she fell off a chair at the dinner table. And yes, I've told her 1,469,354 times to stop squirming in her chair while she eats. She's so beautiful, even with that nasty bruise.
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