How Far Along: 18 weeks
Size of Peanut: Sweet potato.
Total Weight Gain: Unknown. Hehe. I find it amusing to go back and look to see what my weight gain was last time around, and last time I gained 2 pounds in between week 17 and 18. I blamed it on ice cream binges. Old habits die hard. Pass the Graeter's.
Maternity Clothes: All set unless my ice cream consumption continues to hinge out of control. At the end of my last pregnancy I was a stuffed sausage in the pants I had bought halfway through but refused to buy a new pair for the last month just because my ass grew so much. This time I had some very generous friends loan me some pants that are a size larger than I am currently wearing. So I have my fingers crossed that I don't have to use them, but also am thankful that if I do, I won't have to buy them.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Seventeen
How Far Along: 17 weeks.
Size of Peanut: Onion. Commence stank breath.
Total Weight Gain: I conveniently do not remember what my weigh in was last month at the doctor, but I did see what my weight was on the doctor's scale when I went this time (can we all just agree that a doctor's scale is the worst scale on the planet and obviously adds like 7 pounds?). By my rough calculations, assuming that a doctor's scale at 11am is legitimately 3lbs heavier than my non-broken-at-home-first-thing-in-the-morning-scale would be, I have gained about 9 pounds. I don't know if it's coincidence or what, but I went back to look at my weight gain at 17 weeks with Sam and I had gained 9 pounds then too. I will conveniently try to only gain 20 more pounds this pregnancy so that I am not heavier than I was when I delivered Sam. But even if I gain more than that, I am happy to be on the same track of weight gain I was on last time. At least it's not worse.
Maternity Clothes: Thanks to an awesome sorority sister, I found myself some maternity workout capris at Target on sale for $22. One point for the goodguys gals.
Size of Peanut: Onion. Commence stank breath.
Total Weight Gain: I conveniently do not remember what my weigh in was last month at the doctor, but I did see what my weight was on the doctor's scale when I went this time (can we all just agree that a doctor's scale is the worst scale on the planet and obviously adds like 7 pounds?). By my rough calculations, assuming that a doctor's scale at 11am is legitimately 3lbs heavier than my non-broken-at-home-first-thing-in-the-morning-scale would be, I have gained about 9 pounds. I don't know if it's coincidence or what, but I went back to look at my weight gain at 17 weeks with Sam and I had gained 9 pounds then too. I will conveniently try to only gain 20 more pounds this pregnancy so that I am not heavier than I was when I delivered Sam. But even if I gain more than that, I am happy to be on the same track of weight gain I was on last time. At least it's not worse.
Maternity Clothes: Thanks to an awesome sorority sister, I found myself some maternity workout capris at Target on sale for $22. One point for the good
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Sixteen
How Far Along: 16 weeks
Size of Peanut: Avocado. Nom nom. Someone pass the guacamole, preferably from Chipotle.
Total Weight Gain: I'll have an update next week after my doctor's appointment this Friday. I'm sure stepping on the scale will be an exhilarating experience.
Maternity Clothes: Okay listen. Why can't anyone make some cheap maternity workout capris? I want to spend like $15 on something that's not going to dig into my stomach and make me feel terrible during my entire workout. I also would prefer to NOT stretch out my precious and obnoxiously expensive Lululemon capris, because at $90 a pop they need to last me for approximately 10 years (I'm not even remotely kidding about that time frame). You all, Old Navy and Gap don't even HAVE capri leggings in a maternity style. The ones from Motherhood Maternity are $40. Is this a joke? Can a pregnant lady catch a break around here?
Size of Peanut: Avocado. Nom nom. Someone pass the guacamole, preferably from Chipotle.
Total Weight Gain: I'll have an update next week after my doctor's appointment this Friday. I'm sure stepping on the scale will be an exhilarating experience.
Maternity Clothes: Okay listen. Why can't anyone make some cheap maternity workout capris? I want to spend like $15 on something that's not going to dig into my stomach and make me feel terrible during my entire workout. I also would prefer to NOT stretch out my precious and obnoxiously expensive Lululemon capris, because at $90 a pop they need to last me for approximately 10 years (I'm not even remotely kidding about that time frame). You all, Old Navy and Gap don't even HAVE capri leggings in a maternity style. The ones from Motherhood Maternity are $40. Is this a joke? Can a pregnant lady catch a break around here?
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Fifteen
How Far Along: 15 Weeks
Size of Peanut: Naval Orange
Total Weight Gain: Unknown, ha. This is my favorite thing to fill in every week. I'm like - I don't know and also IDGAF, please pass the chips and dip. I'm sure I will regret this in April when I tip the scales at 80 pounds more than my starting weight, but for now, ignorance is bliss.
Maternity Clothes: I'm seriously done shopping, at least for now. I have my eye on these two really cute oversized scarves/ponchos from asos.com, but they are too expensive right now ($30 for a scarf? BYE FELICIA) and not on sale. So I will continue to compulsively check their website for a sale and when they do, I'm going to snatch one up. There's nothing quite like an oversized scarf to hide double chins, embarrassingly large boobs, and a huge belly, am I right?
Size of Peanut: Naval Orange
Total Weight Gain: Unknown, ha. This is my favorite thing to fill in every week. I'm like - I don't know and also IDGAF, please pass the chips and dip. I'm sure I will regret this in April when I tip the scales at 80 pounds more than my starting weight, but for now, ignorance is bliss.
Maternity Clothes: I'm seriously done shopping, at least for now. I have my eye on these two really cute oversized scarves/ponchos from asos.com, but they are too expensive right now ($30 for a scarf? BYE FELICIA) and not on sale. So I will continue to compulsively check their website for a sale and when they do, I'm going to snatch one up. There's nothing quite like an oversized scarf to hide double chins, embarrassingly large boobs, and a huge belly, am I right?
Monday, October 5, 2015
Fourteen.
How Far Along: 14 weeks (SECOND TRIMESTER WOOOHOOO)
Size of Peanut: A lemon. I've seen some big lemons at Kroger!
Total Weight Gain: Scale's still broken. Darn.
Maternity Clothes: Yep. I am actually wearing non maternity pants with a hairband and a tank today, but generally speaking, I'm rocking elastic waists every day. I splurged and bought a support tank in hopes that my back would feel better as this pregnancy progresses. So far, I really like it, but my belly is also not nearly big enough yet to be causing a whole lot of problems in that department. My back just hurts because I have a bulged disc, not because my belly is causing me to walk weird. I also splurged on a good pair of maternity leggings from Athleta. I love their workout pants when I'm not pregnant, so I figured that I'd love their maternity leggings too. I was right. They are thick, not see through at all, and supportive without being constrictive. Well worth the $60 since I'll probably be wearing them 4-5 times a week throughout the winter. I'll also wear them when I'm not pregnant anymore because I can just roll the waistband over. A win for me!
Size of Peanut: A lemon. I've seen some big lemons at Kroger!
Total Weight Gain: Scale's still broken. Darn.
Maternity Clothes: Yep. I am actually wearing non maternity pants with a hairband and a tank today, but generally speaking, I'm rocking elastic waists every day. I splurged and bought a support tank in hopes that my back would feel better as this pregnancy progresses. So far, I really like it, but my belly is also not nearly big enough yet to be causing a whole lot of problems in that department. My back just hurts because I have a bulged disc, not because my belly is causing me to walk weird. I also splurged on a good pair of maternity leggings from Athleta. I love their workout pants when I'm not pregnant, so I figured that I'd love their maternity leggings too. I was right. They are thick, not see through at all, and supportive without being constrictive. Well worth the $60 since I'll probably be wearing them 4-5 times a week throughout the winter. I'll also wear them when I'm not pregnant anymore because I can just roll the waistband over. A win for me!
Thirteen
How Far Along: 13 weeks
Size of Peanut: A peach
Total Weight Gain: I went to the doctor on Friday and had lost a pound. All I can do about this is laugh hysterically.
Maternity Clothes: I am pretty much rocking these glorious things on a regular basis now. I have two great friends who have loaned me some of their clothes. I've also purchased a few new items for this time around. Except for a possible special occasion outfit or something, I should be pretty much set for this pregnancy. Winter might be kind of interesting without a true maternity coat, and I may have to buy one since I'll be needing one in January, February, and March, when my belly is truly huge. I think I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it.
Size of Peanut: A peach
Total Weight Gain: I went to the doctor on Friday and had lost a pound. All I can do about this is laugh hysterically.
Maternity Clothes: I am pretty much rocking these glorious things on a regular basis now. I have two great friends who have loaned me some of their clothes. I've also purchased a few new items for this time around. Except for a possible special occasion outfit or something, I should be pretty much set for this pregnancy. Winter might be kind of interesting without a true maternity coat, and I may have to buy one since I'll be needing one in January, February, and March, when my belly is truly huge. I think I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it.
Twelve
I guess I should start this post by saying "sorry" to baby number 2. I'm not even out of the first trimester and I've already skipped 3 weeks of blogging for this little nugget. Sorry that I'm not sorry? Life is busier this time around and ain't nobody got time to be writing all of this stuff down. But in an attempt to make things "fair" from the get go, I will try to be better from here on out.
How Far Along: 12 weeks
Size of Peanut: Plum.
Total Weight Gain: This information is still unclear. The batteries on my scale are officially dead. In my house, this translates to: broken. And not fixable. I'll just take my weigh ins on the HORRIBLE scale at the doctor's office and move on with my life. I can't care about everything. Food tastes really good and I am having a life long love affair with sugar and cheese.
Maternity Clothes: I am in this horrible stage where my clothes don't fit but my maternity clothes are too big. I'm wearing maternity jeans today. They are glorious when compared to regular jeans, but when I walk and am having to pull my pants up constantly all day, I feel like a huge tool (also a slob, fat ass, person who doesn't know how to buy clothes).
How Far Along: 12 weeks
Size of Peanut: Plum.
Total Weight Gain: This information is still unclear. The batteries on my scale are officially dead. In my house, this translates to: broken. And not fixable. I'll just take my weigh ins on the HORRIBLE scale at the doctor's office and move on with my life. I can't care about everything. Food tastes really good and I am having a life long love affair with sugar and cheese.
Maternity Clothes: I am in this horrible stage where my clothes don't fit but my maternity clothes are too big. I'm wearing maternity jeans today. They are glorious when compared to regular jeans, but when I walk and am having to pull my pants up constantly all day, I feel like a huge tool (also a slob, fat ass, person who doesn't know how to buy clothes).
Eight
How Far Along: 8 weeks
Size of Peanut: Cranberry bean. WTF is that? I also saw raspberry. I think we will go with that instead.
Total Weight Gain: This information is unclear. Sorry that I'm not sorry I had been avoiding the scale at all costs before I took this test. Ice cream and beer both taste really good in the summertime, and they both may or may not have been part of my daily caloric intake for the past 3 months. I'm going to assume my starting weight was "x". In which case, I've gained 2 pounds.
Maternity Clothes: Nope. But see previous note about weight gain this summer, here's hoping my old maternity clothes still fit. I will say that due to the size of my current boobs, I'm really looking forward to some fall/winter clothes so I can cover these bad boys up and end the porn star persona I've been putting forth these last few weeks.
Size of Peanut: Cranberry bean. WTF is that? I also saw raspberry. I think we will go with that instead.
Total Weight Gain: This information is unclear. Sorry that I'm not sorry I had been avoiding the scale at all costs before I took this test. Ice cream and beer both taste really good in the summertime, and they both may or may not have been part of my daily caloric intake for the past 3 months. I'm going to assume my starting weight was "x". In which case, I've gained 2 pounds.
Maternity Clothes: Nope. But see previous note about weight gain this summer, here's hoping my old maternity clothes still fit. I will say that due to the size of my current boobs, I'm really looking forward to some fall/winter clothes so I can cover these bad boys up and end the porn star persona I've been putting forth these last few weeks.
Creepy
I hate snakes. Like, I literally cannot even look at them on a TV screen without squirming in my seat and covering my eyes. Don't even take me near the reptile house at the zoo, or I will pee my pants. I'm not sure why the universe hates me so much, but it obviously really does. How else do you explain the snake stories I am about to share!?!?
The day I found out I was pregnant with Sam, my friend Megan was staying at my house because she was doing work with a client in NKY. We went to eat dinner downtown the day I had taken my positive pregnancy test. We walked out of our garage and down to the car that was parked down on the street. Megan looked up at our porch and said "Why do you all have a fake snake decoration on your porch on that plant??" I promptly yelled at her "I DO NOT HAVE A SNAKE DECORATION ON MY PORCH WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?" Megan, Jake, and I all looked up at the porch and saw a snake basically slithering up the side of my house by my front door (I just gagged and shivered as I typed that). Jake had to run next door to borrow a tool from our neighbor. They picked it up with a shovel and took it up to the backyard and did GOD KNOWS WHAT with it. It was dead and gone, that's all I cared about.
The day I found out I was pregnant with Sam, my friend Megan was staying at my house because she was doing work with a client in NKY. We went to eat dinner downtown the day I had taken my positive pregnancy test. We walked out of our garage and down to the car that was parked down on the street. Megan looked up at our porch and said "Why do you all have a fake snake decoration on your porch on that plant??" I promptly yelled at her "I DO NOT HAVE A SNAKE DECORATION ON MY PORCH WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?" Megan, Jake, and I all looked up at the porch and saw a snake basically slithering up the side of my house by my front door (I just gagged and shivered as I typed that). Jake had to run next door to borrow a tool from our neighbor. They picked it up with a shovel and took it up to the backyard and did GOD KNOWS WHAT with it. It was dead and gone, that's all I cared about.
Happy-Ish
I want to start off by recognizing the fact that I royally SUCKED at blogging Sam's life over the last 2.5 years. I need to apologize to her for not being better at that. I have an entire folder on my computer full of her monthly achievements from her first year of life. Those details will probably never make it into a baby book (I do actually have a baby book - it's empty). I hope she knows I love her even though I didn't log every minute of her life. Hopefully the pictures speak for themselves. Yes, we will go with that.
Next I would like to point out that sometimes life is one big ironic asshole. Does anyone agree with me? Listen, by no means am I about to compare what Jake and I went through to get pregnant this time to true infertility issues, but I would like to make the disclaimer that what we went through still sucked. Big time. Sam was as close to an accident as an accident can be without actually being an accident. Does that make sense? We were playing Russian Roulette. Never in a million years did I think I'd get pregnant my first month of not trying to not get pregnant. Maybe that's why I spent the entire first month of my pregnancy crying over how I was ill-prepared to be a mom (to be clear - I still am ill-prepared), and in general shock that there was a real life human growing inside of me.
Next I would like to point out that sometimes life is one big ironic asshole. Does anyone agree with me? Listen, by no means am I about to compare what Jake and I went through to get pregnant this time to true infertility issues, but I would like to make the disclaimer that what we went through still sucked. Big time. Sam was as close to an accident as an accident can be without actually being an accident. Does that make sense? We were playing Russian Roulette. Never in a million years did I think I'd get pregnant my first month of not trying to not get pregnant. Maybe that's why I spent the entire first month of my pregnancy crying over how I was ill-prepared to be a mom (to be clear - I still am ill-prepared), and in general shock that there was a real life human growing inside of me.
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