How Far Along: 12 weeks
Size of Peanut: Plum.
Total Weight Gain: This information is still unclear. The batteries on my scale are officially dead. In my house, this translates to: broken. And not fixable. I'll just take my weigh ins on the HORRIBLE scale at the doctor's office and move on with my life. I can't care about everything. Food tastes really good and I am having a life long love affair with sugar and cheese.
Maternity Clothes: I am in this horrible stage where my clothes don't fit but my maternity clothes are too big. I'm wearing maternity jeans today. They are glorious when compared to regular jeans, but when I walk and am having to pull my pants up constantly all day, I feel like a huge tool (also a slob, fat ass, person who doesn't know how to buy clothes).
Sleep: At least Sam is sleeping again. That makes 2 of the 3 humans in our house. And Callie is doing better at the sleep thing now that we have taken her off the chemo (more on Callie later). Now my only wake up disruptions are caused by me. At least I can't be mad at anyone else now.
Best Moment(s) this week: We went to a beautiful wedding of one our dear friends this past weekend, and had a blast. I officially survived wedding season as a sober individual, and still managed to have fun. #winning. Is that still a thing?
Gender: I still don't really have an inclination of what this baby is, nor do I really care that much. I had a moment the other day where I was really hoping it is another girl, but that passed fairly quickly. I also am not convinced that we are going to find out this time. I'm thinking that a surprise might be kind of fun. We'll see!
Movement: I think I was crazy when I said I felt like I might have felt movement. Nothing to note in the past several weeks.
Food Cravings: All the food. All the time.
Symptoms: Well thank you sweet baby Jesus my nausea has passed. It pretty much stopped at about 10 weeks and I cannot even begin to describe my excitement. I spent the following two weeks continuing to feel pretty narcoleptic, but now I am feeling pretty much normal. I do think I'm a little more tired than I would be if I wasn't you know, growing a human. But generally speaking, I feel like a million bucks compared to how I felt a few weeks ago.
I knew my laziness and nausea was bad when it had been so long since I'd cleaned my house that my toilets started to have the pink ring around the water line. I knew it was really bad when my TWO YEAR OLD consistently tried to pick up the toilet brush in each bathroom and tell me how dirty the toilets were and "mommy you need to clean the potty it is dirty". I had to lie and tell her I'd clean them about 387 times before she gave up. This past week I finally had enough energy to scrub those bad boys clean. I'm currently thankful for no more bad-mom shaming from my child. And no, my toddler is not available for cleaning your house. If she's going to clean anyone's house, it's going to be mine.
What I Miss: Since I haven't slept in years, and I've had a few glasses of champagne over the course of the last few months, I can't really say I miss a whole lot. For the first time in 2 pregnancies, I can say I feel pretty good and am not really pissed off about anything. Somebody write that down.
What I am Looking Forward to: I'm headed to the doctor tomorrow and am hoping to finally hear a heartbeat and get a good check up. Jake has to work so Sam is going to be my companion. It should be fun.
Sam Tidbits:
This child, I swear, is the most hilarious individual I have ever met in my life. I would like to say I don't know where she gets it, but since her daddy is one of the silliest people I know, and I'm the most sarcastic asshole I know, it's relatively obvious where it comes from.
-Like most toddlers, Sam throws fits about stupid stuff on a daily basis. For example, there is not enough ice in her water (first world problems). Or - Mommy got the water for her when she asked Daddy to. Either way, whenever she throws a fit, I usually make a sarcastic comment to her "oh Sam, your life is so tragic". Anyone with kids knows that they are little parrots and repeat everything you say. Poor Callie was laying on the couch the other day minding her own business when Sam walked up to her and said "Callie, your life is tragic". Lord help me.
-Last night she asked me to show her the video of Goofy doing the "whip and nae nae"....this is me shaking my damn head.
-Sam: "Mommy, do you know why Daddy has to wear clothes to work?"
Me: "Why?"
Sam: "So people don't see his boobies."
Me: (trying not to cry laughing) "Sam, boys don't have boobies."
Sam: "I know, only Poppies and Daddies do"
Ummmmmmmm....WHAT?
-Completely unrelated conversation:
Sam: "Mommy, did you know Kiki is my grandpa?"
Ummmmmmm....WHAT?
-My baby started preschool 2 weeks ago and started dance class last weekend. I have never seen someone so overjoyed for something as this child was for these two activities. These are precious moments I will never forget.
Callie update:
We did take Callie for one round of chemo. She was on prednisone as well. Our amazing vet (shout out to Dr. Pritchard) had warned us that many dogs have pretty terrible side effects of frequent urination and thirstiness. Callie's was pretty bad, to the point where I was starting to resent her because she would pee on the floor right in front of me rather than walking to the door and indicating that she needed to go out. She also was waking up multiple times in the middle of the night for food and potty breaks.
We took her for her second round of chemo and her white cell count had dropped too low to administer another round. Jake and I spent the week after that agonizing about what to do with her. Were we wasting our money on a lost cause? Due to the aggressive nature of her cancer, the prognosis for our sweet girl is less than a year, even with treatment. Were we going to resent her the last few months of her life because of this terrible drug? It just wasn't really making sense to us. We decided we'd like to enjoy the little time we have left with her and stopped the chemo and the prednisone. Dr. Pritchard was supportive and gave us the information for a holistic vet in our area. My sister actually took her dog to this vet a few years ago when her silly dog was acting up from her malignant hyperthermia, and he essentially cured their dog with a new diet.
Luckily the vet (Dr. Lieck) had a cancellation and we were able to get Callie in on September 1st. She got her first round of acupuncture and a month's worth of Chinese herbs. I am happy to report that she seems to be doing really well. She goes back for another treatment at the end of the month. One of the hardest things about all of this is that we just don't really know if her cancer has spread or not. We're not going to do a scan, so we basically have to rely on her behavior to know how well she is doing. As of now, we are enjoying her sweet company and loving on her as much as we can. God bless you, my sweet Callie girl.
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