Twenty-Five

How Far Along: 25 weeks (how did this happen?)

Size of Peanut: Cauliflower.  Interesting choice of food for the week, but okay...

Total Weight Gain: At my appointment last week she confirmed I had gained 13 pounds since my first weigh in.  Since I'm really just going by the doctor's scale as far as weight gain goes, I'm actually pretty pumped about this.  At 24 weeks in my last pregnancy, I had gained 17 pounds.  Since I started about 7 pounds heavier this time, that means I'm only about 3 pounds ahead of where I was last time.  I'd really like to keep my total weight at or under what I was when I delivered Sam, so if this trend keeps up, I'll be good.

Maternity Clothes: I tried on a few of my favorite items from my last pregnancy this past week, and I hated the way they all looked.  It's pretty crazy how different I feel my body is this time around.  I really though I would reuse most of those clothes, but I have hardly reused any tops, just pants.  I have about 6-7 tops that I wear every day.  If I'm going to work, I wear them with work pants and nice jewelry.  If I'm lounging in my house, I wear them with Jake's sweatpants.  Yep, that's how I roll.

Exercise: If I keep up my trend since Monday, I will end up having exercised 5 out of 7 days this week.  Thank you Barre3 and Great American's gym for keeping this bod in some semblance of shape while my belly continues to grow, and grow, and grow, and grow.  I do have to note that spinning has gotten a whole lot more difficult in the last couple weeks.  I really thought that was going to be a workout that would carry me through to the end, but bending over handlebars is a really great way to squish your baby and your lungs all at the same time.  I am either going to need to make some bike adjustments or give that up sooner rather than later.  Wah!

Sleep: I swear I go back and forth on this mattress like every other day of my life.   One day I'm like "yes this mattress rocks and I slept great", the next day I'm like ugh there has got to be something better out there.  I am seriously considering ordering another mattress with a 100 day return policy before this one has to be returned and just keeping the one I like better.  Part of me feels bad doing that, but the other part of me thinks that's why they offer the return policy, because you can't lay on their bed in a store, so it's the risk they are willing to take by cutting out all of those overhead costs. Stay tuned.

Best Moment(s) this week: Well, as I type this it's my birthday.  However, my birthday this year is a day of work and meetings, so poo on that.  Sam has been alive for 3 of my birthdays and I have yet to be able to spend any time with her on any of them.  If you can't tell, I'm super annoyed by this information.  Nevertheless, hearing from a bunch of friends and family is always sure to make a girl feel special, so I'll choose today anyway :)

Movement: Macy babe continues to be super active between 9-10pm, but she has definitely started to have some more active times throughout the day too.  Every so often I'll be sitting at my desk and I get a jolt to the bladder that makes me jump a little bit.  It's one of those things that's kind of embarrassing but totally unavoidable.  I have a love/hate relationship with feeling movement in there, kind of like I do about pregnancy in general (although I tend to lean more toward hate when it comes to pregnancy).  On the one hand, it's pretty cool to feel a human life move around inside of you, it's also reassuring and I do think I'd be sad if I never got to experience it.  On the other hand, a moving belly and constant kicks to the bladder are less than desirable.  Let's jut put it this way - I'll be glad when I'm not pregnant anymore and Macy is here for me to hold in my arms rather than my belly.

Food Cravings: I think I consumed about 20,000mg of sugar on my birthday, so if that's any indication of my cravings (cookies, cake, muffins, sugary lattes, waffles, cinnamon rolls, cupcakes, ICE CREAM)....

Symptoms:  Just some more sciatic pain, and the occasional headache.  Although my M.O. through both of these pregnancies has been to complain about pretty much everything, I have been feeling pretty physically good the last week or two, so I probably should just shut the hell up and be a positive Patty about life.  My current biggest complaint is the size of my boobs.  I just honestly cannot believe how big they are (again) and can't believe they are going to continue to grow and won't be back to normal size again until I stop nursing.  Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I don't think they make bras in a normal size chart to fit these suckers, I think it just says "porn star"!!!!

What I Miss: Booze.  Wearing a normal size bra.  My old wardrobe.

What I am Looking Forward to: Making 5 million treats and cookies on Saturday with my family and eating all of them before we have a chance to share them with anyone else.  BAHAHAHAHA.  Christmastime is like a pregnant woman's dream come true! (Other than not being able to drink all of the wine...)

Sam Tidbits:
-I'm not saying she's a genius, but she might be:  "Mommy, why are you going to work?  It's your birthday, you should stay home and make a cake!"  Why yes, Samantha, you are correct.  Being an adult is the pits and I should stay home and bake a cake rather than go to work.  But instead, I'm going to sit here and bake this baby sister of yours and save all of my PTO so I don't have to go unpaid for however many weeks I want to spend at home with her after she is born.  But hey, maybe you should like, be the president someday and like, pass some mandatory bullshit law that says that nobody should ever have to work on their birthday?  I'll vote for you!
-At some point in the last 10-15 days, this child turned into a threenager.  She has been spanked disciplined more times than I care to count.  I have patience for a lot of things, and I desperately do NOT like to be mean or spank my child, but the one thing I will absolutely NOT tolerate is disrespecting her superiors.  When she yells at me, or Jake, or one of her grandparents, it's just about enough for me to lose my shit.  If anyone would like to adopt her until she turns 4 and then bring her back to me as a well-behaved, non back-talking 4 year old, I'd be game for that.

Callie update:
I gotta be honest, I thought I'd be doing better than I am by now.  I still get sad every time I pull up the driveway and remember that I'm not going to be greeted by Callie's sweet face and wagging tail.  I have had several more meltdowns.  I miss her soft little ears and the sound her collar made when she shook her ears out.  I miss seeing Sam squeeze her neck so hard it looked like Callie's eyes were going to bug out of her head, but she let Sam do it anyway because she loved her so much.  I miss the way the pads of her paws smelled like Doritos (I think all dogs' pads smell like Doritos - my childhood dog's pads did too), but I miss Callie's nevertheless.  If losing a four legged family member has been this hard on me emotionally, then heaven help me the day I lose a two legged family member.

Twenty-Four

How Far Along: Twenty Four weeks

Size of Peanut: Cantaloupe

Total Weight Gain: My pants are starting to feel a little tight in the thighs (shock), but I'll know my exact number at my appointment on Friday.  Let's just say I'm not real excited about that...

Maternity Clothes: I have a shopping problem.  I 150% hate the way my body looks right now.  Like more than you could possibly imagine, yet I still keep buying clothes.  I bought a dress for my company Christmas party this past week.  In my defense it was mega cheap and it's so cute I'm hoping I can have it altered to fit my not pregnant body when I'm not pregnant anymore, but the point is, I didn't need to buy a dress and I did anyway.
The good news is, that super expensive tank I bought at the beginning of my pregnancy has proven week in and week out to be the best maternity purchase I have made.  I am mad when it's in the laundry and I'd wear it every day without washing it if I could.  My only complaint is that since it's white, long, and tight, it kind of rolls up at the bottom when I sit down, so it's become a little discolored at the bottom from me pulling it down so many times throughout the day.  However, I would recommend this over and over again to anyone who is pregnant, especially anyone with gigantic boobs.  It has helped me feel very supported and contained and I could not be happier with my purchase.

Twenty-Three

I have to admit I've kind of been dreading getting all of my thoughts out about my 20 week ultrasound ever since it happened.  And then all kinds of adult life happened in the weeks following, and now I'm dreading it even more.  On the flip side, I think I would regret not documenting this emotional and difficult part of my pregnancy/life. In the past 3 weeks, we found out that we are having a girl, found out I have an umbilical cord abnormality (more later), we moved out of our house, moved in with my parents, traveled to NYC for Thanksgiving, and had to say good-bye to our fur baby.  Yeah, that's a lot to process, especially when you're a hormonal wreck and can't have alcohol in large quantities.  So here goes nothing...

How Far Along: 23 weeks

Size of Peanut: Grapefruit.  Dear "thebump.com", please make me more of an emotional basketcase by stating that baby can now hear "dogs barking".  Not in our house anymore :-(

Total Weight Gain: Unclear.  After last week's trip to NYC/Thanksgiving, I am most definitely NOT looking forward to next week's weigh in.

Maternity Clothes: I buckled down and bought a maternity coat.  I desperately did not want to, but I have been too busy to try to find one to borrow, and I found a cute one at Old Navy for $40.  I was hoping to make it a little further along in my regular coats, but already none of them button, so it was time.  Thank you Black Friday for your convenient timing!

Twenty!

How Far Along: Halfway there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Size of Peanut: Banana - I eat one almost every day, so this is appropriate this week!

Total Weight Gain: Still unclear, still don't care!  As far as how my body looks and feels right now, I am about as happy as I could possibly be about where I'm at.

Maternity Clothes: Okay so I guess the shopaholic problems never really go away even when you're pregnant.  With both pregnancies, I seemed to reach a point where I think I'm done and then suddenly I realize that I *need* something else.  I had been noticing for a few weeks months that my regular boots were getting kinda tight on my man calves (thanks, Milt).  I ignored it and decided that I would just shove my calves into them all winter anyway.  Well, last week my work went to the Thursday night Bengals game.  I had my whole outfit picked out, complete with LAP (leggings as pants, thank you Jen Hatmaker) and went to put on my boots when the worst possible thing happened: my boots did not zip.  Like, they wouldn't even go on and feel like my legs were splurging out the top.  They straight up did. not. fit.  So on the way to the Bengals game, wearing my Uggs in 70 degree weather (ain't nobody got time to be changing their outfit at the last minute because their boots don't fit), I got on 6pm.com and impulse purchased the $32 wide calf boots I put in my cart about 6 weeks ago.  They arrived this week and I can't begin to tell you all how happy I am that I made this purchase.  The fact that I even thought I could a) fit in my regular boots until March and/or b) go all winter without boots is 150% laughable.  So here I am in my wide calf, cheap as hell, yet incredibly comfortable boot glory.  I'm not even sorry about it.

I also may have been suckered by Gap's friends and family event and purchased 2 sweaters and some maternity jeggings, but that's neither here nor there.  Bye.

Nineteen

How Far Along: 19 Weeks - almost halfway there!

Size of Peanut: Mango

Total Weight Gain: Unknown.  I'm still feeling pretty good in my current size maternity pants so hopefully any weight gain has gone straight to my stomach and/or chest rather than resting permanently on my ass and thighs like usual.

Maternity Clothes: Speaking of maternity pants, why does every pair of maternity pants I own have to be a lint magnet?  It's like these stupid maternity companies make me buy ugly pants with no butt pockets that make my ass look like something from a 1980s commercial (yes, none of my work pants have butt pockets - wtf), and then to top it off they make it out of a material that attracts every bit of lint that floats through the air.  I never have this problem with my regular work pants or leggings, but every pair of maternity pants I own needs a lint roller every 10 minutes.  Even my workout capris that should attract no lint whatsoever have lint all over them!

Eighteen

How Far Along: 18 weeks

Size of Peanut: Sweet potato.

Total Weight Gain: Unknown.  Hehe.  I find it amusing to go back and look to see what my weight gain was last time around, and last time I gained 2 pounds in between week 17 and 18.  I blamed it on ice cream binges.  Old habits die hard.  Pass the Graeter's.

Maternity Clothes: All set unless my ice cream consumption continues to hinge out of control.  At the end of my last pregnancy I was a stuffed sausage in the pants I had bought halfway through but refused to buy a new pair for the last month just because my ass grew so much.  This time I had some very generous friends loan me some pants that are a size larger than I am currently wearing.  So I have my fingers crossed that I don't have to use them, but also am thankful that if I do, I won't have to buy them.

Seventeen

How Far Along: 17 weeks.

Size of Peanut: Onion.  Commence stank breath.

Total Weight Gain: I conveniently do not remember what my weigh in was last month at the doctor, but I did see what my weight was on the doctor's scale when I went this time (can we all just agree that a doctor's scale is the worst scale on the planet and obviously adds like 7 pounds?).  By my rough calculations, assuming that a doctor's scale at 11am is legitimately 3lbs heavier than my non-broken-at-home-first-thing-in-the-morning-scale would be, I have gained about 9 pounds.  I don't know if it's coincidence or what, but I went back to look at my weight gain at 17 weeks with Sam and I had gained 9 pounds then too.  I will conveniently try to only gain 20 more pounds this pregnancy so that I am not heavier than I was when I delivered Sam.  But even if I gain more than that, I am happy to be on the same track of weight gain I was on last time.  At least it's not worse.

Maternity Clothes: Thanks to an awesome sorority sister, I found myself some maternity workout capris at Target on sale for $22.  One point for the good guys gals.

Sixteen

How Far Along: 16 weeks

Size of Peanut: Avocado.  Nom nom.  Someone pass the guacamole, preferably from Chipotle.

Total Weight Gain: I'll have an update next week after my doctor's appointment this Friday.  I'm sure stepping on the scale will be an exhilarating experience.

Maternity Clothes: Okay listen.  Why can't anyone make some cheap maternity workout capris?  I want to spend like $15 on something that's not going to dig into my stomach and make me feel terrible during my entire workout.  I also would prefer to NOT stretch out my precious and obnoxiously expensive Lululemon capris, because at $90 a pop they need to last me for approximately 10 years (I'm not even remotely kidding about that time frame).  You all, Old Navy and Gap don't even HAVE capri leggings in a maternity style.  The ones from Motherhood Maternity are $40.  Is this a joke?  Can a pregnant lady catch a break around here?

Fifteen

How Far Along: 15 Weeks

Size of Peanut: Naval Orange

Total Weight Gain: Unknown, ha.  This is my favorite thing to fill in every week.  I'm like - I don't know and also IDGAF, please pass the chips and dip.  I'm sure I will regret this in April when I tip the scales at 80 pounds more than my starting weight, but for now, ignorance is bliss.

Maternity Clothes: I'm seriously done shopping, at least for now.  I have my eye on these two really cute oversized scarves/ponchos from asos.com, but they are too expensive right now ($30 for a scarf?  BYE FELICIA) and not on sale.  So I will continue to compulsively check their website for a sale and when they do, I'm going to snatch one up.  There's nothing quite like an oversized scarf to hide double chins, embarrassingly large boobs, and a huge belly, am I right?

Fourteen.

How Far Along: 14 weeks (SECOND TRIMESTER WOOOHOOO)

Size of Peanut: A lemon.  I've seen some big lemons at Kroger!

Total Weight Gain: Scale's still broken.  Darn.

Maternity Clothes: Yep.  I am actually wearing non maternity pants with a hairband and a tank today, but generally speaking, I'm rocking elastic waists every day.  I splurged and bought a support tank in hopes that my back would feel better as this pregnancy progresses.  So far, I really like it, but my belly is also not nearly big enough yet to be causing a whole lot of problems in that department.  My back just hurts because I have a bulged disc, not because my belly is causing me to walk weird.  I also splurged on a good pair of maternity leggings from Athleta.  I love their workout pants when I'm not pregnant, so I figured that I'd love their maternity leggings too.  I was right.  They are thick, not see through at all, and supportive without being constrictive.  Well worth the $60 since I'll probably be wearing them 4-5 times a week throughout the winter.  I'll also wear them when I'm not pregnant anymore because I can just roll the waistband over.  A win for me!

Thirteen

How Far Along: 13 weeks

Size of Peanut: A peach

Total Weight Gain: I went to the doctor on Friday and had lost a pound. All I can do about this is laugh hysterically.

Maternity Clothes: I am pretty much rocking these glorious things on a regular basis now.  I have two great friends who have loaned me some of their clothes.  I've also purchased a few new items for this time around.  Except for a possible special occasion outfit or something, I should be pretty much set for this pregnancy.  Winter might be kind of interesting without a true maternity coat, and I may have to buy one since I'll be needing one in January, February, and March, when my belly is truly huge.  I think I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it.

Twelve

I guess I should start this post by saying "sorry" to baby number 2.  I'm not even out of the first trimester and I've already skipped 3 weeks of blogging for this little nugget.  Sorry that I'm not sorry?  Life is busier this time around and ain't nobody got time to be writing all of this stuff down.  But in an attempt to make things "fair" from the get go, I will try to be better from here on out.

How Far Along: 12 weeks

Size of Peanut: Plum.

Total Weight Gain: This information is still unclear.  The batteries on my scale are officially dead.  In my house, this translates to: broken.  And not fixable.  I'll just take my weigh ins on the HORRIBLE scale at the doctor's office and move on with my life.  I can't care about everything.  Food tastes really good and I am having a life long love affair with sugar and cheese.

Maternity Clothes: I am in this horrible stage where my clothes don't fit but my maternity clothes are too big.  I'm wearing maternity jeans today.  They are glorious when compared to regular jeans, but when I walk and am having to pull my pants up constantly all day, I feel like a huge tool (also a slob, fat ass, person who doesn't know how to buy clothes).

Eight

How Far Along: 8 weeks

Size of Peanut: Cranberry bean.  WTF is that?  I also saw raspberry.  I think we will go with that instead.

Total Weight Gain: This information is unclear.  Sorry that I'm not sorry I had been avoiding the scale at all costs before I took this test.  Ice cream and beer both taste really good in the summertime, and they both may or may not have been part of my daily caloric intake for the past 3 months.  I'm going to assume my starting weight was "x".  In which case, I've gained 2 pounds.

Maternity Clothes: Nope.  But see previous note about weight gain this summer, here's hoping my old maternity clothes still fit.  I will say that due to the size of my current boobs, I'm really looking forward to some fall/winter clothes so I can cover these bad boys up and end the porn star persona I've been putting forth these last few weeks.

Creepy

I hate snakes.  Like, I literally cannot even look at them on a TV screen without squirming in my seat and covering my eyes.  Don't even take me near the reptile house at the zoo, or I will pee my pants.  I'm not sure why the universe hates me so much, but it obviously really does.  How else do you explain the snake stories I am about to share!?!?

The day I found out I was pregnant with Sam, my friend Megan was staying at my house because she was doing work with a client in NKY.  We went to eat dinner downtown the day I had taken my positive pregnancy test.  We walked out of our garage and down to the car that was parked down on the street.  Megan looked up at our porch and said "Why do you all have a fake snake decoration on your porch on that plant??"  I promptly yelled at her "I DO NOT HAVE A SNAKE DECORATION ON MY PORCH WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?"  Megan, Jake, and I all looked up at the porch and saw a snake basically slithering up the side of my house by my front door (I just gagged and shivered as I typed that).  Jake had to run next door to borrow a tool from our neighbor.  They picked it up with a shovel and took it up to the backyard and did GOD KNOWS WHAT with it.  It was dead and gone, that's all I cared about.

Happy-Ish

I want to start off by recognizing the fact that I royally SUCKED at blogging Sam's life over the last 2.5 years.  I need to apologize to her for not being better at that.  I have an entire folder on my computer full of her monthly achievements from her first year of life.  Those details will probably never make it into a baby book (I do actually have a baby book - it's empty).  I hope she knows I love her even though I didn't log every minute of her life.  Hopefully the pictures speak for themselves.  Yes, we will go with that.

Next I would like to point out that sometimes life is one big ironic asshole.  Does anyone agree with me?  Listen, by no means am I about to compare what Jake and I went through to get pregnant this time to true infertility issues, but I would like to make the disclaimer that what we went through still sucked.  Big time.  Sam was as close to an accident as an accident can be without actually being an accident.  Does that make sense?  We were playing Russian Roulette.  Never in a million years did I think I'd get pregnant my first month of not trying to not get pregnant.  Maybe that's why I spent the entire first month of my pregnancy crying over how I was ill-prepared to be a mom (to be clear - I still am ill-prepared), and in general shock that there was a real life human growing inside of me.